Bi-Curious (BoyxBoy)

♥︎ Chapter 28 • Lost at Sea ♥︎

____________________________

I've done nothing but cry,
Nothing but weep within the first week
I'm scared
I'm so alone
I'm falling into bad habits,
But I don't know what else to do

I tried,
I cried,
I tried,
I cried,
I cried so much that the water level kept rising
First a puddle,
Then a pool,
Then a lake,
And now an ocean
I don't know what to do
I can't swim,
I don't know how
And I'm all alone now

I cried,
I tried,
I cried,
I tried,
I tried to tread water,
But I'm sinking,
Ethan, I'm drowning
When will you come back?
You are my life raft
I can't reach out for you,
I need you to reach out for me
Because I'm too busy drowning to think straight

____________________________

Bi-Curious
Chapter 28:
"Lost at Sea"

Charlie

        My own feeble hands trace over my body as I study my own naked reflection. I look horrid.

        This morning, I woke up in pain. Last night, I went to the bar. I didn't drink, but I saw some guy at the bar, I saw him, or so I thought. He wasn't Ethan, but I let him touch me. He looked so similar though, so much like my Ethan. His hair was the same, his height was the same, and his build was close enough. He was wearing a cowboy hat, but it wasn't Ethan's cowboy hat. He looked so much like him, but he had cruel, green eyes instead of Ethan's caring, loyal, beautiful, brown ones. This man who I called Ethan last night, his hands were equally as cruel.

        He didn't hold me, didn't treat me with one ounce of compassion. I was the equivalent of a sex doll. He hit me, punched me, kicked me, and fucked me so roughly that I'm injured today. I let myself be his punching bag. I didn't even get any pleasure out of it. I didn't even come.

        I just couldn't be alone anymore.

        My eyes look dully at my complexion, tan skin mixed with black, blue, and purple hues. Everything hurts. I can't speak right now and I can't sit. I'm covered with scabs, scratches, and bite marks. It hurts, but I welcome the feeling because it shows me that I'm still alive.

        Stepping into the shower, I slip and fall, pain shooting through my spine. I just get back up, dirty, reddish water going down the drain. I carefully start to clean myself out, cringing as I scrape out the sharp pieces of cracked, dry blood. It mixes down the drain and mixes with my filth.

        Finally, I finish cleaning my whole body and dry off, looking at my reflection again. Dark purple handprints are prominent around my neck and I just shake it off and head to the kitchen to gargle some saltwater and take some numbing medicine for my throat.

        The medicine leaves my tongue with a tingly feeling and I drink some water before heading into my room and grabbing Liam before bringing him to Ethan's room to cuddle with in bed.

        He's been here, Ethan has. I can tell by the disappearance of certain things. I kept an inventory of his belongings and one day when I was checking, I saw that a box and half of his clothes were gone.

        I let Liam envelop me as I breathe in Ethan, the room smelling like him despite him practically living in mine when he was still here.