Bi-Curious (BoyxBoy)

♥︎ Chapter 36 • Anxiety ♥︎

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I have this "disorder" dubbed anxiety
In the middle of the night, it grabs a hold of me
I cannot sleep
Overwhelmed, I weep
I'm ashamed, I cannot let anyone see

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Bi-Curious
Chapter 36
"Anxiety"

Charlie

         My leg bounces up and down as I look out the car window while Ethan drives. We're on our way to counseling right now and I am nervous. Even with Ethan accompanying me, I still have this sinking feeling in my stomach. I want to get help and I'm willing to work to become better at coping, but I'm afraid of my own mind. I'm afraid that it'll finally click with Ethan that there isn't really a cure and that it'll make him unhappy. He promised he won't leave me, but what if he comes to regret this promise? What if he suffers? He loves me and I love him, but sometimes you can get tired and overwhelmed by everything. Hopefully, he'll tell me whenever he is and I'll work my hardest to make sure it doesn't get too bad.

         The car parks and I feel Ethan's hand on my leg, effectively stopping it from bouncing. He looks into my eyes, his expression gentle and loving. "You'll be okay, Charlie. All you have to do is talk to them."

         "Yeah." I force a grin and exit the car, walking around to help him out and grasp his hand in a death grip.

         He smiles at me and squeezes back, leading me into the building and into a small waiting room. He sits down on a couch and pulls me next to him.

         I rest my head against Ethan's shoulder. "Have you been to counseling before with your brother?" I play with his hand.

         He nods. "Yeah. It was a little hard for Ry to open up at first, but over time it got better. They have your best interest in mind."

         "Do they?" I ask. "Are you ever scared that they just act like they care because they want your money?"

         "Yeah. That's why it might take a while to find the right one sometimes. Plus, even if they are acting, it's still helpful." Ethan shrugs.

         "Okay. Can we get ice cream or something afterwards?" I start kissing his hand lazily.

         "Yeah, anything you want, baby." He smiles.

         "Charles King?" A female holding a clipboard asks.

         "Y-Yes, that's me." I stand up and pull Ethan with me, following her to her office. I stand awkwardly.

         "You can get comfortable." She smiles, holding a hand out for me.

         I shake it and then quickly grab Ethan's hand again.

         Ethan pulls me gently over to a couch and sits us down. "It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Ethan, Charlie's boyfriend. I hope you don't mind if I sit in."

         I kiss his hand. "T-That's allowed... right? I want him with me..."

         "That's perfectly fine." She smiles at me. "My name is Fiona."

         "I go by Charlie..."

         Ethan squeezes my hand supportively.

         "How are you feeling, Charlie?" She asks me.