i hope
and i pray
although i am not religious.
the man in the sky messed up.
or who is it in the sky?
i do not know.
but i hope
and i pray
that i am not turning into what he made
in your eyes.
i cry
and i scream
that one word does not mean
that the being i introduced to you
is not me.
i am not the person he made.
i am choosing a new candle mold
choosing my scent
choosing my colors
and choosing my flame.
but if you do not see the candle
i will burn myself down
just to give you the ashes.
because i love you.
but i hate myself
even if it is not me.
-jb
