Damsel in the Dust

7

Sleep comes in fits and starts. I dream that I'm standing in the field on the edge of our property, wilted sunflowers curling toward scorched earth around me. The sky is an unnatural shade of scarlet. Black clouds build on the horizon. A white cowboy hat rolls past my feet, as if racing away from the howling wind that follows instead of being propelled by it. I stagger back a step, then two, the wind forcing me off balance until I tumble to the ground.

Strong arms catch me before I fall, pulling me upright and turning me away from the wind. I close my eyes and relax into the stranger's broad chest, grateful for the protection from the sand whipping by. As he holds me, I almost forget the storm. Without looking up, I know who has caught me, who is protecting me. Warmth spreads through my heart and my cheeks. Warnings tug at the edges of my consciousness, vague feelings that I shouldn't be comfortable here because I belong somewhere else, but I ignore them.

When I open my eyes, I can see the edges of the sky through his arms, a violent shade of red now. The wind is screaming around us. I look up, my hair whipping across my face and his. I start at the sight of the blue eyes looking down at me while the protective circle of his arms becomes a vice. I struggle to pull back, yelling that we have to run, have to get inside now, but he isn't listening.

"You don't belong with him," the voice cuts through the wind, and I'm not sure which is more terrifying.

I wriggle against his grip, but the more I fight, the tighter he closes in around me. I start awake, twisted in the sheets and drenched in sweat. In the darkness, I imagine I am not alone. The thought sends ice through my limbs, freezing me in place. Only my heart continues to move, thudding against my chest as if trying to escape the confines of my ribcage. I will myself to relax.

There's nothing here, I repeat over and over.

I focus on my toes, trying to wriggle them and release myself from this spell. I don't remember having night terrors as a child, just nightmares of spiders criss-crossing my bed or creeping out of places they absolutely didn't belong. The first one I do remember was over a year ago, after a bonfire we had at Christian's place. Everyone had scattered to all corners of the house, some slumped in captain's chairs outside by the dying embers, all sleeping off a long night of partying. I'm not much of a drinker, more of the mother hen type, so I took my time grabbing a blanket off the bed and bringing it out to the armchair in the living room. The couch was occupied, but the rumbling snores told me whoever it was would be out for a long time. It was late, and after working a long day I gave over to sleep easily, the rumbling snores distorting into the lull of thunder in my dreams.

I don't remember my dreams that night. I do remember jolting awake, a deep feeling of being watched seizing my body and freezing me in place. The snores had stopped. The house was silent. The way my head was tipped toward the front of the living room, I couldn't see the couch to know if whoever was there before had woken up or moved. I willed my head to turn, but my body betrayed me, keeping me locked in place. That's when the real panic set in. I struggled against my own body, feeling claustrophobic in my own skin. My breathing was rapid and shallow, and I thought I might lose consciousness. That scared me even more - what if I passed out and the rest of my body froze up, stopped working? Would I die here? Would whoever or whatever was watching me attack me if I lost consciousness?

Warm hands found mine where they peeked out from beneath the blanket. They gently rubbed across my fingers and my palm as if trying to bring life back into my hand. A shadow moved in front of my view, though it was too dark for me to make out who it was. A soothing voice whispered to me, and eventually, I calmed down enough to hear the words.

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay. You're safe, alright? Try and take a deep breath. It's okay. I'm here, it's alright..."

I focused on that voice, on the warmth in my hand, let them anchor me back in the present moment. The whisper sounded familiar, but in my present state, I couldn't place who it was. I just let the voice wash over me until my fingers sprang to life. My toes followed, and eventually, my body released me from the hell it had put me in. Relieved, I curled back into the blanket. Tendrils of panic still wrapped around my heart, but exhaustion was slowly tugging them away.

"There you go. You're alright, see? That's it..." I felt my savior release my hand before gently sweeping my hair back from my face. I closed my eyes and imagined I felt the flutter of lips against my forehead. I heard the floor creak as they walked away, but sleep was already calling me back and I was in no state to fight it.

When I woke to the sunlight streaming through the windows, all traces of the night terror were gone. I looked over to the couch, but it was empty. I heard movement in the kitchen though and the smell of fresh coffee pulled me out of the chair. Chris and Shawn sat at the table, both nursing mugs of hot coffee. Shawn was still new to me; we had only run into each other a handful of times since he had started hanging out with Chris.

"Morning sleepy head," Chris croaked.

"Hey, sleeping beauty. You gave us quite the fright last night - everything alright?" Shawn asked, his piercing blue eyes alight with concern.

Had he been the one to comfort me in the dead of night?

"I... Yeah, no, I'm fine. Thanks," I said.

He smiled a playful boyish grin that melted hearts and incited mischief.  It captured my curiosity and I sat across from him, Chris all but forgotten as I got to know my mysterious savior. His blue eyes captivated me, searching my face as we talked, pinning me in place with such piercing intensity I felt as if he could see my soul. That was the first day my heart fluttered around him, soaring on the high that his kindness and attention were giving me. 

My toes finally twitch, perhaps against the memory of that night and the fateful morning that followed. Relief rushes through the rest of my body and I bolt upright, clicking on the lamp and inspecting the room. Emptiness. Nothing. No cause for alarm.

I peer at the clock. It's too early to rise but too late to fall back asleep for any meaningful amount of time. I slide out of bed and flip on the lights, rummaging in my closet for clothes I can give to Maive. If my plan doesn't work, the least I can do is make sure that poor girl has a couple of spare shirts for the rest of her journey.

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A/N: So... what did you think of the dream?

What about her meet-cute with Shawn? He's not such a bad guy...

As always, thanks for the comments, votes, support, etc.! I LOVE reading your thoughts as we tumble through this journey together. :D