Damsel in the Dust

14

We all move to the kitchen, none of us exactly sure what we're doing or where to start. I make a pitcher of sweet tea to distract myself from the shaking in my hands. Maive hovers nearby, arms folded, biting her bottom lip while she watches Jake, whose gaze is locked on Chris. Chris has taken a seat at the table, across from Jake, and is looking between Jake and Maive like they're aliens and he can't quite believe they've made their way to earth, much less my home on earth.

A list of the lies I've come up with races through my mind. They're friends of my cousin. Chris has known me and my family for too long, he'd see right through that. Jake's the new rep for Abernathy wines. It's true, but how he got to be the new rep, and then how he ended up at my home, would be equally difficult to explain. I'm not sure how much Stephie told him, but I have to assume Chris knows I was helping Jake find a job. And what about Maive? How do I explain a teenager and her brother suddenly appearing in my backyard? If I tell him the truth... who knows what he'll do with it. My head throbs.

I set the pitcher of tea on the table and back up, leaning against the counter and looking between the two men. Ultimately, what I say doesn't matter if I don't know which Chris I'm talking to. My childhood friend, the boy that stuck to me like glue and treated me like a sister, that Chris I could talk to. The manipulative Chris that spies for Shawn and looks at me like I'm a slice of pie he wants but can't have, on the other hand, there's no talking to that Chris. I have to know who I'm dealing with.

Subtlety has never been my strong suit.

"Chris, before I or either of these two says a word, I need to know who you're here for," I say, injecting as much strength into my words as possible.

He drags his gaze away from Jake, looking up at me. "What do you -"

"Don't give me your bullshit. You know damn well what I mean. Are you here for me, or are you here for Shawn? Because if you're here for Shawn, you can get the hell out right now, and don't you dare ever come back. You tell him, you say one ignorant word without knowing what is really going on, and we're done. You'll be as good as dead to me."

My whole body is trembling, this time from anger. I fight back the frustrated tears that threaten to spill over my cheeks as I deliver my threat. It hurts me too, knowing that I'd be giving up any chance of being friends with Chris again. Sometimes when he peeked through, bringing me fresh charcoal and a drawing pad when I quit my job, giving an extra squeeze in a hasty hug, I thought I might be able to find my Chris again. Sometimes I swore I even saw true concern for me in his eyes, and that gave me enough to believe I hadn't completely lost my best friend and would be able to pull him to the surface and never let him sink back down into the ugly personality he'd adopted. Now I would know for sure if I had been imagining things all along.

"Leah..." There he is, my Chris, shining through with a look of pained concern. Conflict rages across his face though and my temper rises. How could it be that damn difficult to choose between me and Shawn?

"You disgust me, Chris. You're not half the man I thought you were if you can't figure out where you stand. Get out. Get the hell out of my house right now!" My voice cracks and I cast my gaze to the floor so he can't see the tears welling in my eyes.

"Leah, I -"

"I think Leah made it clear that you need to leave," Jake's voice is quiet, but the protective tone is clear.

I hear chairs scrape across the floor and lift my head. Tears be damned, I want him to see this look of defiance. Something inside of me has snapped and isn't going to accept this thinly veiled prison of a life I've tumbled into anymore.

The look Chris casts me as he lets himself out nearly breaks my heart, but a year of his coldness toward me stops me from giving him another chance. I watch through the screen as he makes his way to his truck and climbs in. I watch him sit in the cab for an agonizingly long time before I hear the engine rumble to life. I watch him back down the driveway and turn onto the road. I stay there at the door, watching, long after he's gone.

It's Maive that pulls me back again, this time without words. She walks up and puts an arm around my shoulders, squeezing gently enough to ground me back in the present. We stay like that for a little while, and I'm certain she would stand with me for hours if I needed her to. But I need to be strong for them. It's my mess, and I hate that they've collided with it.

"Leah? Are you going to be okay?" Maive's voice is soft, hesitant.

I turn toward her, gently shrugging away her arm and wiping my eyes. I look between her and Jake before answering.

"I think I will be."