Damsel in the Dust

10

My home is on the far edges of Marion, technically outside of the town and at the very edge of the county, so it takes a bit to get to civilization. Our nearest neighbors, the Abernathy's, are ten minutes down the dirt road. Johan Abernathy and his wife own the sweetest grapes around and use them to make some damn good wine. Johan is cresting seventy, though every time I see him he swears he isn't ready to retire and chides me for even teasing him about it. I think Mrs. Abernathy secretly agrees with me though.

The Abernathy vineyard gives way to open space, which eventually turns into a cornfield. Watching the rows and rows of corn whip by, I try not to worry about being seen in public with Jake and Maive.

Just Jake, really. Maive is fine, but no one will say anything about her, I think. All anyone will say when they see us is 'Leah Pilcher was walking around with a strange man'. Not a strange man and a strange girl, of course. It's far juicier to gossip about a possible relationship scandal.

I push the thought from my mind, but it's replaced by the whisper of gossip from not so long ago.

Did you hear about the Pilcher girl? Been hanging around with that bad news bad boy, acting like she's better than the rest of us. Little tramp...

The past stings, maybe because hindsight is 20/20 and I can see all of the mistakes I made. I cringe at some of those memories, while others evoke a longing deep in my belly that nothing will ever satisfy.

As the fields roll by, they blur into oblivion, replaced by the images in my mind. Memories buried deep like secret treasures work their way before me as I grip the steering wheel, white-knuckled.

Driving down this dusty road, the bed of my truck filled with my measly belongings, I tingle all over with anticipation. When I reach the end of the road and my new home, he is waiting for me in the front yard. The afternoon sunlight catches his hair, turning it gold and his eyes sparkle like sapphires when he sees me pull up. I cut the engine and leap out of the cab. When I approach him, he pulls his hands from his pockets and scoops me up into a tight hug, lifting me up and spinning me around in a circle. I feel as if I am in a movie. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury myself against his broad shoulders, so full of love and belonging I feel like I might burst. He sets me down, holding me close a second longer before releasing me. I am dizzy, but I don't know if it's from the spinning or the intensity of the feelings building in my chest. He gently takes my hand and leads me to the truck, where we both scoop up a box before heading inside.

My stomach lurches at the happy memory. It's always strange to me, trying to recall how I felt that day. My mind remembers being elated, remembers thinking that I felt like a million fizzy bubbles were swirling beneath my skin trying to lift me up, but I can't actually recall the feeling itself. It's not like other memories, where dread or desire sink into my stomach as if I'm actually in the moment. This one is clinical, like I'm remembering a scene from a movie and being told how I felt when I watched it.

"Leah? Are you okay?" Maive asks, pulling me back to the present.

I hadn't noticed the dirt road give way to pavement, or the signal light up ahead welcoming us into town with a green glow.

"Yep, I'm great. Unfortunately, our options are limited here in Marion; we'd have to go into the city to do any real shopping, but there's a menswear store around the corner," I say, taking the first turn down Main Street and pulling around the corner of the store.

"Sounds good," Jake says.

We park and I turn to Maive, "I have some clothes for you back at the house. If you guys stick around long enough, maybe we can make a special trip into the city and get you a new wardrobe for school."