Shaded ✔️

CHAPTER 10

I put on my clothes and headed back downstairs. It was 4 in the morning, but I needed to get out of there. The more I looked at Dom, the more regret welled up in my body. I expected the place to be empty, but there were a couple stragglers. I saw Buddy passed out on the pool table, his face in one of the club girls' bare chest. Someone alone at the bar.

Ace.

I walked up to him, shaking his shoulder gently. His eyes slowly opened, a smile on his face as he looked up at me. Then the realization set in and I saw the betrayal and disgust pass through his eyes.

"Ace-"

"I don't want to hear it Scarlett, seriously. Let's just go."

"Please just let me explain-"

"Explain what? How you fucked my brother knowing damn well how it would make me feel. Don't bother apologizing, it's honestly my fault for believing that you actually cared." He pulled away from me, heading towards the door.

"Ace it wasn't like that." My voice shook. I knew he heard it too.

"What was it like then?"

"It meant nothing to me, I swear."

"Nothing means anything to you anymore. Including me, including yourself. I really thought you wanted out Scar, but I realize now that I was wrong. You're just looking for more reasons to stay. So stay. Stay in that fucking town, drink your life away, I don't care anymore. I'm leaving Scarlett. I'm done waiting for you to realize that you're wasting your fucking life away. I didn't know Nate, but being a brother I know that this shit is not something I would ever want for Dom, no matter how much I want to fucking kill him right now." My heart sank. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

"I'm sorry-"

"No you're not. Just stop lying to me alright? I need you to tell me that you're never going to come with me. That you don't care. That I can leave and not have to worry about you." he sounded so defeated.

"I can't do that Ace. I want to go with you but-" He let out a ragged breath.

"JUST FUCKING SAY IT SCARLETT."

So I lied. I was sobbing now, the tears making my vision blur.

"I'm not coming with you. I-I never planned to and I never will." My voice was barely a whisper, and my heart broke with every word. His shoulders slumped. The defeat was so clear on his face that I felt whatever was left of my heart shatter.

"I'll see you around, Scar." He went to open the door.

"So that's it? You're going to leave me too?"

"Don't put this on me. I can't keep doing this. I'll always be here for you, whenever you need me, you know that. You know I'll always love you. But I just can't even fucking look at you right now."

"I'm sorry." My voice was barely a whisper. I looked at the floor, hating the look that was in his eyes.

"I know."

With that he left. I couldn't be mad at him for leaving when all I did was push him away. I watched him walk away, my heart breaking with every step he took. I knew that he would move to the city, I knew that he would finally have a life that makes him happy. It just hurt knowing that I wouldn't be a part of it. It hurt more knowing I had no one to blame but myself. I couldn't blame Dom, or Ace even. I did this to myself and I knew it. It's like there was something inside me waiting to sabotage any chance I could ever have at happiness. Because if my brother couldn't be happy, then I shouldn't either. My brother couldn't live, so neither should I. My doctor called it survivors guilt, but the truth was that I didn't survive that night. Whoever I was before died with Nate, and this is what I was stuck with.

I wiped my face, sitting at the bar and lighting a cigarette. I didn't even like the taste of them anymore, but I needed something. I looked at the bottles lining the shelf at the back of the bar. I didn't even want to drink. That's how I knew I was fucked up. I was mid pull when I heard someone come in. Before I could look up to see who it was, something was tied around my eyes and a cloth was pressed to my mouth. My cigarette fell to the floor.

Just as I felt the cold chill of panic make its way up my spine, everything went dark.