The Eye of a Hurricane

Lin

Isabel had never been a discipline problem at home or at school, but she was becoming one.  I was getting emails and calls from teachers saying she wasn't participating and would talk back.  At home, she shut herself in her room and was rude.  She was starting to be mean to her little sister.  I was at my wit's end with her.  Pippa and I had been patient, but now a month in to her return, it was starting to become a real problem.

After returning from a meeting and getting yet another email from Mr. Nelson, I wandered back to her room.  I'd warned her she'd lose her phone and her books if she didn't shape up.  She was laying on her bed reading with her earbuds in.  I leered over her bed, my arms crossed.  She huffed and took her earbuds out.

"I got an email from Mr. Nelson," I told her.  "You told him to shove it?"

She bit her lip, then giggled a little.  I was embarrassed at her behavior.  My kids would always be respectful.

"You think it's funny?" I asked her, exasperated.  "You don't speak like that to anyone, let alone a teacher.  Is that clear?"

"Yes," she groaned, reaching to put her earbuds back in.

"Give me your phone and your books," I told her, holding out my hand.  She sat up and looked at me like I was crazy.

"What?!"

"I warned you, Isabel," I reminded her.  "This attitude and rudeness you've developed lately needs to stop.  It's not gonna fly in this house.  Hand them over now."

She looked truly bothered, which was encouraging.  I'd found her currency, so to say.  Grounding her didn't do anything; she didn't really have any friends.  If she was without her phone and her books she was miserable.  As she was fumbling with her phone and grabbed the stack of books at her bedside table.  As I took them it looked like I was taking her only friends.

I locked her things up in my closet, hoping this would have an affect on her.  When she could be respectful, she could have them back.  After dinner, I made her do the dishes to add to her punishment.  She glared at me whenever we crossed paths.

Pippa and I laid together in bed that night.  "Isabel doesn't seem to be getting better," I told her.

She sighed and marked the page in the book she was reading, then turned onto her side to face me.  "She's having a really hard time."

"I don't understand why she hates me all of a sudden," I confessed.  I tried not to take it personally but it was hard.

"Welcome to tweendom," Pippa said.

"I don't know what else to do," I said, turning on my side as well.  "She just seems like a different person."

"Just be consistent, I guess," Pippa said.  Neither of us had any idea what we were doing.  We were brand new parents and had been thrown into parenting a 12 and 5 year old.  "Make sure she knows we love her."

"What I really don't get is her being mean to Luna all of a sudden," I added.  The change had seemed so sudden.  She went from being her mini mom to purposely being mean and nasty.

"Maybe she's jealous of how easy this all seems to her," Pippa reasoned.  "Luna's happy no matter what.  Maybe Isabel doesn't get how she can adjust so easily."

"Yeah, maybe that's it," I said, rubbing my eye with the heal of my hand.  Ellie cried from her bassinet.  Pippa sat up and reached for her, then brought her to lay on her chest.  She started to calm down, whimpering a little as Pippa rubbed her back.  I looked at my daughter's bright eyes.  No matter how stressed I got, Ellie seemed to instantly calm me.