from afar. | takata mashiho

✦ goodbye?

i've got a tip-top memory. this grand finale will be one to remember. i won't mess this up. how could i mess it up though? i'm with her, so it's all going to be okay. that was cringey. i'm sorry.

✦ ༺━━━━༻ ✧

haru haru
1:00pm

haruto
so you found her

haruto
huh, finally! things were
going real downhill for
you for a moment

mashiho
i thought so too

haruto
you looked so happy

mashiho
i felt so much more than
you thought i looked

✦ ༺━━━━༻ ✧

it's true. i'm over the moon. i'll be past pluto when i see her again. we agreed to meet up this afternoon. she asked to meet at this bus stop. but i'm gonna stop by for a treat. for her of course, not myself.

artificial light and struggling university students always find their way to the same place: convenience stores, a lamp on a desk late in a procrastination-filled night, lonely ramen restaurants and so much more. if lamps were living, would they get lonely? because they haven't been switched on for a while? too many hypotheticals, i came to get drinks. weaving through the aisles for the most efficient journey to a desired area should be a sport. it takes intelligence! bump. "shit, sorry." was that too silent?
"it's all good-"
"oh hey!" we met up earlier than anticipated.
"it's you." yes it's me.
"we met up here out of all places. wow. i need to ask you something."
"okay!" she was holding one bottle of banana milk. now she's holding two. she tilts her head, squints into the distance and deliberates something. all of a sudden she's sprinting to the front of the store. i catch up. she paid. she grins with her cheeks rising up to her eyes, creating crescent moons, and hands me a bottle. "thank you. so, you wanted to go to an amusement park a few days ago. and why at like, when the birds wake up and squawk like there's no tomorrow?" eyes interlocked, passing waves of uncertainty. she bites her lip and scrunches her nose. "if only i could show you." a light bulb goes off in her eyes.
"and you will." she takes my hand. well. this is unplanned. unplanned adventures are the best kind of adventure.

all the bus rides are dreamy. lots of pictures. "you know, photographs are just light and memories." her daydream ends, shifting her view of the window to me.
"that's an interesting way to put it, isn't it?"
"but it's true." i nod.

lotte world changes with each person you come here with. i don't know what it's gonna be today with her. but it feels yellow. like a warm, saturated yellow. she pays for her ticket before i can and runs in like a baby. arms paddling the air like they are actually pushing her forward. she first waddles into the souvenir shop, her pink backpack jumping along with her hair. she hands me a headband, "something isn't right here..." she grabs the same as her own on her head, "yes! perfect."
"but you look way better! it's not fair!"
"i know that but," she puts on a sneaky face, "it's buy one get one free if you get the same ones. hush." this chick, i swear to god. she's perfect. after paying – i got to do it this time – her gaze snaps into the direction i really hoped it wouldn't.

she went straight to the horror house. there's no line, i would assume due to its jumpscare-y nature. the staff member up the front doesn't even blink. i follow after the girl, tiptoeing in. she's already up to trouble. "yo! take a picture of me next to the murderer! smile mister murderer!"
"who even are you?"
"i am deaf, unafraid and unaffected! now make haste before the staff come in and impel us to withdraw."
"okay shakespeare." and then she hugs the poor guy paid minimum wage to run around with a chainsaw while dressed in tatters.
"here have a tip. it must be difficult working here." she pats his head and scurries off to the next room. the actor looks at me with bafflement. she runs to the next, and the next room. i make sure to stop and grab candids in each scene. she'll like these.

how'd we even get here? it's amazing to think that a shared plethora of thoughts would lead to this. the creation of memories, smiles ten times brighter and more genuine, and a girl beside me laughing her head off while being slingshotted and dropped on a ride called the 'gyro drop'. "hey! what if we died on this ride?!" the people adjacent to her create buzzing eyes.
"well, at least we would die happy." now they're all on the verge of hysteria. she takes note of this mentally. "don't worry people! we will not die! not today at least," she turns and whispers to me, "gotta stay positive." the ride session ends.
"perfect timing." the safety harness lifts and and we lift off out of our seats. her legs are jelly and before you know it: she's on the ground. "i'll be okay!" she says simultaneously raising her fist as a sign of triumph. i whisper to myself, "yes you will."

now who decided to go in the mirror maze? little does she know that if she wants to turn the volume up on her hearing aid, i can hear exactly what she's thinking – where she is. she won't know what's coming for her. my plan is to scare her. it's like she's not afraid of anything. it's not fair! i'll get her this time because a stupid tomb of horror couldn't do the job. it seems like there are a thousand copies of me. wow don't i look good today? focus. hello, hello! he won't find me here. shoot i think he's right next to me. gotcha! i run behind her and hold my arms open to blanket her with a hug. baam! that's a mirror. ouch. "i found you!"
"waaah!"
"i got you!" you get me.

time zips by, fast enough for us to not realise the sky's darkness. hand in hand in front of the famous carousel. "you know, after all this time, i still don't know your name. nice to meet you, i'm mashiho." i hold my hand out for her to shake. she takes it with both of her tiny hands. "it's sori. mok sori. i know it's weird, contradictory, ironic-"
"i like it." we both pause. you're going to say it out loud mashiho, "i like you."

and i know exactly how it started.