from afar. | takata mashiho

✧ sorry

there is something so calming about entering a bookstore and greeting the store owner and everyone else who seems to share the same bookish interests as you do; it's a community like any other.

✧ ༺━━━━༻ ✦

my playlist on shuffle and curtains pulled open. there's only one thing missing: banana milk! i'm now addicted. it's become tradition for me to take one bottle whenever i visit the bookstore. along the path, i stop by the convenience store and go straight to the drinks. the people working there are practically my family now. sometimes they have my go-to already up at the counter and they wait for me to show up. "hello! good morning!"
"hey seunghun!"
"the usual?"
"you know me too well." on the counter he slams down two bottles.
"buy one get one free."
"hm? i don't see any-"
"on me, silly."
"but i can't even finish one in the span of one day!"
"then i guess you'll have to find someone to share with." what's on today? is there something i'm missing here? "happy white day, sori."
"ohhhhh." he takes the second bottle and my wrist, walking me outside. "cheers."
"cheers." purely platonic. there's nothing to worry about. he's just being kind. i thank him and get going. leaving him with the brightest smile i've ever seen him wear. "wait!" i snap my head around, "thank you for staying. it gets kinda lonely working here alone. i always look forward to you coming around every time. please don't leave me."
"oh seunghun, i'm here to stay, honey." a hug stops my breath, heat rising up to my cheeks, "bye."
"see you later." platonic?

when i enter the store, i know exactly where i'm headed. new additions! i search for a potential culprit, scanning my fingertips across hardback spines. i pick one up. yes! this is the one. three, two, one, reveal freshly printed pages now! "do you do this often?" an almost silent questions peers in from behind me. i'm afraid of confrontation, they'll probably ask me to stop smelling the books. don't reply, just calmly return the book to its shelf. he taps my shoulder this time. this person really wants me to stop. "do you do this often?" i can barely hear you because my hearing aid is turned down; again, to avoid confrontation. i'm deaf. and who are you? i really hope he's not asking if i sniff these hardbacks often and really asking if i come to this bookstore often. i reach for my hearing aid, turn it up swiftly and sign to him, i'm sorry, i'm deaf. it's my little way of getting strangers to walk in the other direction: away from me. but he doesn't budge. why?