He Broke Her.

The dam

You think it's all over.

You think you've erased every touch.

Every thought.

Every word.

That is until you see it.

You see it and realize that it can't escape you.

There will ALWAYS be things that remind you of him.

There will ALWAYS be nights of panic.

Nights of tears.

Nights of screaming.

Nights of begging God to turn back time and end your misery.

The awful thing is.

It only takes one word.

One person.

One flower.

One scent.

To open the flood gates on a memory that you thought you built a dam across.

But tonight the dam wasn't strong enough.

It broke.

And with it's rushing thoughts came absolute insanity.

You look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself why.

Why me?

Why didn't I just run?

Why did I let him do this to me?

I thought I was stronger than that.

But that bastard caught me on a day where I wasn't strong.

I was afraid.

I was lonely.

I was craving love.

So I believed his lies.

And that cost me.

That cost me everything.

It will be three years this October.

But I still scream into the woods.

I still have the urge to swipe a blade across my skin.

I still cry.

My stomach still churns when I see a rose.

But it will be ok.

I will be ok.

You will be ok.

Because even though the dam might have broken tonight.

The more time that passes the faster it learns to rebuild itself.

And each time it rebuilds it becomes stronger.

Even though I may have had a flashback.

It didn't last 2 days this time.

I don't get them every day.

I don't even get them once a month anymore.

I can now go weeks without his name entering my thoughts.

And that's how I know I am ok.

I am breathing.

I am alive.

I have survived.

And so have you.