" i go looking for you
in time that's stopped.
no matter the obstacles,
i always wind up at your side. "
- shaun, way back home
8 march 2017, 12:45pm
jeon jungkook, who had his back against yerim's door and was dozing off as he was waiting, was startled by the slow, but sudden movement of the door.
kim yerim, who opened the door ever so slightly and saw that jungkook was still there, waiting, decided to deal with the matter head on and pulled the door open fully with a loud sigh.
" i'll be honest with you, i didn't open the door because i didn't know what to do and i honestly didn't know you'd still be waiting. but now i know that you're dead serious about this, can you tell me why you're doing this? wendy gave me an idea but i think i want to hear it from you personally. "
jungkook took this time to get up from his previous position, and spent some time stretching the sore muscles in his legs. " i thought a lot about what happened during the past one year, i thought about the past, i thought about us, i thought about the future. "
" me too. "
" i knew i wanted to talk to you about what happened to us because you never gave me a chance to - you left me hanging and walked away as if nothing ever happened. " there was a pause, as they understood the gravity of the situation. they were finally, finally talking about their break up - a good opportunity to get some closure.
jungkook then continued, " i needed answers but i didn't even know what to ask. and somehow, the days flew by until i only had one chance left to see you again. "
yerim spoke softly, " you know, all along, i don't think i really saw things from your perspective. i guess all i could think of was how hurt i felt whenever i walked past familiar places alone, and how much i resented you for making me so upset that we had to come to this. but then as time went by, i came to realise that you probably had it worse. "
upon hearing her words, jungkook let out a small smile. " you've changed a lot, yerim. you never used to really talk much about how you felt. its amazing to see how much you've changed in just one year. "
yerim returned the smile. " after having wendy force me to talk about what i was feeling whenever she saw me cry over the past year, i guess i've gotten better. she wouldn't cuddle me in bed until i fall asleep, you know, that's something only you did. "
yerim quickly realised that that probably wasn't the best thing to say, and an awkward silence ensued. but she continued anyway. " but yeah. i realised you never knew what i was thinking and why exactly i wanted to end whatever we had. all you got from me was an outburst and nothing else, no explanation, nothing. "
" how have you been this past year? i don't think anyone deserves to go through what i unknowingly put you through - so much hurt, without any explanations. "
" i spent a lot of time thinking about my every action, and what i did wrongly to push you away from me. i know it may not seem like it yerim, but i missed you a lot. you can't expect me to put those four years behind as if it was nothing. "
yerim started to avert her gaze, but jungkook carried on talking. " i just want to spend some time with you. those four years we had together were the happiest years of my life, and i don't want to leave this place knowing that our last memory together was an upsetting one. "
" please, yerim. i'll leave before midnight, i promise. "
after hearing those words, with a small, shaky voice, yerim spoke.
" promise me one more thing. "
" what is it? "
" that you won't make me cry over you again even after today. "
jungkook smiled, and they both knew that that promise would be broken.
yerim knew that she shouldn't indulge - it would only hurt her in the end.
it took her months and months to kick the habit of typing in his number onto her keypad (she couldn't help but remember his number even after deleting his contact), looking for someone to talk to during the nights she felt the most broken. and yet, she could already feel the urge to do so coming back - even with him right in front of her, barely any distance between them.
he was an addiction she hadn't fully recovered from, that she should distance herself from, but the sight of him before her again seemed to override all her senses.
it's only for one day, she told herself. one day of indulgence, and then everything would go back to the way it was before.
to be honest - before, yerim did think about the possibilities of them meeting on the street, passing by one another at a busy intersection.
but, little did she know, that this would genuinely be the last time she would ever see him.
-
a/n
a (pretty long) chapter with loads of jungri.... hope you enjoyed it! thank you for reading ❤️
lots of love,
jane ❤️❤️
