Skinny Love

Double digits

It's my first day back at school since being suspended. I sneak up behind Tyler at his locker, put my hands on his shoulders, and yell, "Boo!" "Oh my god," Tyler says turning around, "you almost gave me a heart attack." I laugh. He's so easy to scare. "So," Tyler pauses, "how was the suspension?" "Oh so much fun. Having my mom watching me 24/7 is a lot better than going to school," I say trying to be as sarcastic as possible. "Fun." I roll my eyes at him, "I know." "Why was she watching you 24/7?" He asks. "Paranoia. She's afraid I'm gonna go the entire day without eating. I mean skipping a couple meals isn't that bad," I say. "Well how much do you weigh?" He asks. I quickly say the first number that pops into my head, "130 pounds." "Is that a healthy weight?" He asks me again. "Yeah." Totally. I mean I haven't checked a BMI chart but I assume that's healthy. Personally I think that it's overweight but that's just me.

"How was out patient therapy? Did you see Dallon again?" Tyler asks. "Yes and I went to his house!" I say. "Give me all the dirty details," Tyler says. "Well nothing "dirty" happened," I say using air quotes. "Fine. At least tell me what did happen," he begs. "Well I told him about my amazing friendship with Ryan and he told me his story. Then we had a little jam session. I told him about my obsession with Sinatra and he told me about his obsession with every artist," I tell Tyler. "Ah and what else?" He asks. "Then he took me home," I say. "Really? That was it?" He says acting like there should be more to the story. "This is the first time we've hung out in person. It's not like we were gonna have sex." Even if he wanted to have sex I wouldn't want to. I already know his opinion on anorexics.

"Why not!? Me and Josh-" "I don't want to here about yours and Josh's sex life!" I say interrupting him, "I hear about it enough in math and band class." "Awe Josh talks about me to you?" Tyler asks. Yeah. What else is there for us to talk about? "Too much." And I'd rather not hear that stuff.

The bell rings and I go to class. School is gonna be extra long today and for the next four months. Maybe a little less than that but who's counting. My first class is science with Ms. Row. I sit at the back of the class and try to pay attention. That's the best you're gonna get from me. I mean what's the point of having a teacher when everything you need to know is online. Oh right cause some people don't like to read. Or don't know how to read.

Crap. I'm supposed to be trying to pay attention. Well there goes that plan. Might as well just text Dallon. I pull out my phone, trying to be sneaky. I'm probably not sneaky at all. I text Dallon something and right as I hit send Ms. Row calls my name. I lift up my head, "Yes miss Row?" "Come here please," she says signaling me to come to the front of the class. Great she's gonna take my phone away. I stick my phone down my pants. What's she gonna do? Dig in my pants to get it? I don't think so.

I walk up to the front of the class. "Yes?" I ask all innocent looking. She whispers, "You look a little sick. Are you feeling okay?" "Yeah," I say nodding my head. "I'm gonna write you a pass," she says as she starts filling out a little slip of paper, "Go to the nurses office just to make sure. Okay?" I nod my head and exit the classroom.

I walk to the closest bathroom. I head straight for the sinks and look in the mirror. I look a little pale and I have dark circles around my eyes. I sigh. I take off my backpack and set it on the counter next to the sink. I open it up and pull out some cover up. I put some on to cover up the dark circles and to make my skin have a little bit more color to it. I put the cover up back into my backpack and pull out a rock that I bought just for these occasions. It's about 20 pounds. Might be a bit heavier but I rounded down to 20 pounds. I put the rock inside of my sweatshirt. I zip up my backpack and exit the bathroom.

The teachers have to call the office to make sure the student actually shows up so I know the school nurse is waiting for me. I enter the office and show the lady at the front desk my pass. She send me back to Kala. The school nurse. Now we have some history together. She was there last year when I passed out during gym class. So I know what she's gonna have me do first.

"Brendon your teacher said you looked a little sick. How do you feel?" Kala asks. "Fine. She probably just has bad eyes," I say. "Okay. Can you step up on this scale real quick?" Called it. I get on the scale. The scale reads 124.9 pounds. Holy shit 104.9 pounds. That's down six pounds from yesterday. I look at Kala hoping she bought my trick. She's making a thinking face. "What is it?" I ask getting nervous. "Oh nothing. It's just that humans fluctuate five pounds everyday. So I'm a little concerned. Hopefully you're closer to 129 pounds versus 119 pounds," she says. I giggle a little. "Hopefully," I agree. I should've known 104.9 pounds was too good to be true. I probably weigh about 109.9 pounds. Which is only down less than a pound. Fuck! I hate my life. I can't lose weight to save my life. Well I'm at least close to double digits soon. Not close enough. I'm not gonna eat dinner tonight.

Kala finishes checking my vitals. They are normal so she sends me back to class. I just barely made it back to science class before the bell went off. The rest of the day goes by slowly. And I still have detention to worry about. I stop by Tyler's locker before going to detention.

"You are so lucky," I tell him. "Why?" He asks. "Because I have to stay after school for the next what? Four months?" I think. "Oh! That's right! You have detention. Poor Beebo." I give Tyler a death glare. "Hey I'm not the one who gave you detention," he puts his hands up defending himself. "What if I just don't go to detention? What are they gonna do? Give me more detention?" I ask. "I don't know but I wouldn't want to find out. Just go. It will be over quicker than you think," Tyler says trying to calm me down. And fuck he's right. Might as well get it done and over with now.

I let Tyler go catch the bus as I make my way to detention. Detention is with Mr. Toro. He makes everyone put their cell phones in a basket on his desk so that means I have no contact with the outside world. I slowly walk to the back of the room and lay my head on the desk. Once everyone is in the room Mr. Toro takes attendance. I hear him call out names and when he says Ashley some girl corrects him saying Halsey. I look up and realize it's one of the girls from out patient therapy. Well at least I know someone. "Brendon Urie?" "Here," I say reluctantly. I wish I wasn't here.

After attendance Mr. Toro tells us the rules of detention. It's pretty simple. Stay in your seat, stay quiet, do homework, read a book, and don't talk to each other. He then leaves the room. Kids start getting up and talking to each other. "Hey Halsey?" I ask. She looks at me wondering why I'm talking to her. "What?" She asks. "How long is he gonna be gone." I hope she knows. "Until four." Ah. I slowly get up and make my way to the phone basket. I grab mine and go back to the desk. I don't know Halsey well enough to want to talk to her. And based on how she responded I don't think she wants to talk to me either. So I'm just gonna text Dallon.

Me: How was school?
Dallon: Boring
Dallon: I had tests and lectures all day
Me: Oh that sounds fun
Me: I'm in detention right now
Dallon: Oh that sounds fun
Me: I know right?
Dallon: How are you using your phone?
Me: The teacher left the room
Dallon: Oh you naughty little boy
I laughed at that.
Me: Says the guy who stole $500 from his dad to buy concert tickets
Dallon: Eh he didn't even notice it was gone
Me: Right cause that's just pocket change for you
Dallon: I think someone's jealous
Me: I think someone's spoiled.
Dallon: No I'm not I just make use of this thing called a five finger discount
Me: You're just making yourself look worse
Dallon: Jerk
Me: You know you love me
Dallon: You're right I do
I blush at the text message.
Me: We need to hang out again sometime
Dallon: How bout next Friday?
Me: I have therapy next Friday so I'll message you when it's done and we can hang out then okay?
Dallon: okay!
Me: I gotta go the teacher's gonna be back soon bye
Dallon: bye ;)

I quickly put my phone back and sit back down in my seat. I day dream about hanging out with Dallon next Friday. The teacher comes back in the room and I don't pay him any attention. I'm too happy right now to focus. But then I notice people leaving the room. I quickly grab my stuff and get up to leave. Not forgetting my phone. I exit the class room and make my way home. I can't wait till next Friday.