Blind To Reality

11- Muffled

Angel P.O.V

I woke up with a stuffy, achey head. My mouth was dry and tasted bad, making me wonder why and how long I had been sleeping for. 

I thought for a couple minutes, trying to drag the pieces from earlier back into place...

The room was quiet of all sound, the temperature comfortable and the material I was laying in soft and cozy. But the room didn't change the fact that I was alone, and didn't know where I was or how I got to be here. It was Frightening. Was it worse than being lost in a large mass of people, bodies shoving this way and that? Getting grabbed and... When have I ever been somewhere like that? Even here, now that my brain was starting to work again, didn't have blaring music and sweaty bodies, though it did have curious smells; many people all spread out.

No, I went with my family here. There was some light music, many sounds and a lot of talking, but there was no screaming and ear-splitting loud music. But where... From Before? Most likely, but why couldn't I remember anything else? The phantom sensations of being touched made me flinch, my shaking hand lightly rubbing at the area before more phantom hands snatched at me, my arms caught, my face grasped, and my mouth covered. It was horrifying, the memory and feel like a wet slug along my lips; a pressure on my tongue.

I scooted back, clawing to the other side of the bed, sheets and pillows shifting under my frantic escape. It wasn't long before I met the wall, leaning against it as I clawed at my prickling skin in disgust and terror. But the sensation wouldn't go away. Finally, I rubbed my skin against the wall until a burning raw sensation replaced what could have only been some nightmare brought into reality. There was not enough energy to do more than lay back down and catch my hitching breath when I was finally free.

It was only a nightmare. It was only a nightmare. It didn't happen, "It didn't happen. Only a nightmare."

But it didn't sound true.

I couldn't tell when I fell asleep once more, but I woke in a much clearer state than before with something cool and damp resting on my forehead while something cold... Ice? It was being rubbed lightly against my lips.

Scenting the area, I could only groan out, "Mama?"

The words that passed my lips felt wrong. Why? I had no problem before calling her that, but what made the change in feelings? 

"What's the matter, baby?" The lady asked, feeling her rub against my cheek. It felt... Disgusting... But why? Everything felt wrong. "Are you feeling sick? Do you have a headache- is that why you're frowning?"

"Yes..." My lips quivered a bit. "Maybe I slept for too long?"

"Is that all that's wrong?"

No, everything was wrong. Everything was wrong. Everything was wrong.

"What's wrong?" I could feel her feeling me out, suspicion starting to color her voice... But Why? Why didn't I trust someone who I was calling 'Mama' not long ago?

"I don't know where I am," I decided to avoid my main fears, needing to give a plausible reason for my attitude. "I don't know how I got here and it's confusing."

"Aww, my poor baby," I could feel she didn't really mean it. She had interest in me, but it wasn't like what I would imagine an actual mother would be like. "We could tell that the party was too much stimulation too soon when you ended up falling asleep with a fever. Your brother helped give you some medicine and we decided it would be best to let you sleep in the suite we rented."

Truth and lies. Lies wrapped in truth. What was right and what was wrong? How was it that this felt wrong when I had nothing else solid to compare it with? Just what was my Before? Why was it ruining me; ruining my hope of a happy family and a loving home? Why did I now feel like I had drank poison instead of the ice water M- this lady gave me?

And why did it feel like I was waiting for someone... And that I had to continue playing this game, because something worse would happen to me otherwise.

Should I trust my heart, or the facts rustling in my mind, or the Before scratching rivets into what I thought was the truth?

I could only decide what I never even had the chance to choose. I could only bury these foreign feelings and continue calling these people what they wanted me to. Either way, right or wrong, true or false, this was my life and I had a feeling that if they caught my true feelings now, things would not be the same as they were. 

"Drink some more water, Angel," The lady's acting had seemed so genuine; now so cardboard. "Then why don't you sleep a bit more and I'll make you something light later. Your father and brothers are still catching up with their friends, but I'll just be in the next room doing paper work if you need me."

My brain began feeling fuzzy, unable to do more than flop back onto the bed. I shivered in disgust when she touched me, easily moving me so that I rested my head on the pillows while my body was covered in the blankets, "That's it, Angel, just sleep for now."

She drugged me... Was the last thought I had before dropping into a frightening darkness filled with the fragments of Before.

Well people, it's been a while, huh?