Endings And New Beginnings

CHAPTER FIVE - THE TALE OF TWO SPIES

After clearing up the kitchen, Steve, Bucky, and Natasha now sit in the living room. Steve's actually surprised to see that neither Bucky nor Natasha stalled in the kitchen. He expected them to, thinking that their nerves would get the better of them but then Steve realizes that he's actually the one who is nervous.

Steve admits he was a bit hurt when he had to learn of this secret past from Bucky when Natasha had every opportunity to open up about it ever since the events in DC. But he has learned not to take Natasha's secretive nature personally, because he knows and understands why she turned up like that. Years of being a spy taught her that for her to survive, she has to keep her guard up all the time. And Steve's proud to see how far Natasha has come from that unreadable and detached person that she was.

He watches as Bucky sits down, comfortably leaning back on the couch with a boyish smile, while Natasha sits criss-cross beside Bucky, looking relaxed but keeps wringing her fingers. Steve tries to hide a smile but Natasha notices it.

"What?" she asks.

"You're nervous," Steve replies and points out her fingers.

"Congratulations, you know me so well," Natasha quips back with smirk.

"Apparently not," Steve says. Natasha's face changed and Steve can tell she's bothered and ashamed by what he said. "Sorry. That was uncalled for. I didn't mean ---"

"I'm really sorry, Steve," Natasha cuts him off. "I thought not telling you about James would make it easier for you to move on. But the truth was, I was thinking more of myself. It scared me to open that chapter of my life and discover that I have been lying to myself, that in truth, I haven't gotten over it yet."

"I understand," Steve comforts her. "And you're okay to talk about it now?"

"Yeah," Natasha replies softly. "I owe you, remember?"

"I told you don't worry about it, remember?" Steve tells her with a reassuring smile and waits for her to start. Natasha takes one last look at Bucky before turning to Steve and starting the story.

"Ready?" Natasha asks Steve playfully one last time and Steve responds with a firm nod.

Natasha takes a deep breath and starts. "I was sixteen when the Winter Soldier was sent to the Red Room. Hydra arranged that he be sent to takeover and oversee the last phase of our training before graduation. Out of the twenty eight girls that were there at the beginning of the Black Widow program, only six of us were left alive to train with him. The cream of the crop."

Steve knows of the Red Room and what it did to little girls like Natasha, what it did to her. It took a while before Natasha talked to him about it and when she did, details often came vague and in piecemeal. With a bit of help from Clint, he finally put two and two together and gained a clearer picture of Natasha's life there. And now that he's hearing it from Natasha herself, Steve realizes that he will never get over the fury he has to the people responsible for her suffering and who made her believe that she doesn't deserve good things in life.

"We were given initial training when we were younger but it became the real deal when he arrived. For two years, he trained us in combat, weapons --- gun and knife specifically --- stealth and ---," Natasha continues but stops after getting distracted.

Steve bows his head down to hide his smile but fails to stifle a chuckle. He senses Natasha staring at him. "I'm sorry. I promised myself I will not interrupt but something just popped in my head and it finally made so much sense."

"What is it?" Bucky asks.

Steve turns to Natasha and starts explaining. "Remember the first covert mission we had? We were on a rooftop and you sat there by the edge with a rifle in your hand, eye on the scope. I saw you locked in that position and I thought it looked familiar, and now I know why. You shoot rifles like him," Steve explains, ending with soft chuckles.