Metanoia

11: Smudged Ink

Hey Keith!
This is lance btw.

I couldn't help but to stand there under that singular unlit streetlight at the end of the road and just watch the screen of my phone after I sent those two text messages. The ink on my wrist smudged a bit, hopefully I got the numbers right and I didn't just text a random person. I just stood there, waiting for that little 'Read 5:46PM' to pop up under my texts, and then the little '...' to pop up on his side.
One minuet I wait,
Then two,

Next I look at the time it's been ten minutes,
Guess I zoned out.. again..

I put my phone away in my pocket, a bit disappointed sorta, but I guess he's busy or something, and that's why he couldn't come over for dinner. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes to just focus on the smell of the sea-salt on the wind rather then the jumble of thoughts in my head, tucking them away so I could hopefully have some peace of mind on the walk home. I was focusing on each step so deeply I barely  noticed that my pocket was buzzing, my phone. I quickly pulled my phone out and glanced at the name, Keith.

"Hola, this is Lance," I answered, unable to help the upbeat tone in my voice. I continue to walk home at a slower pace; I have a goal to fit five steps per cement square, that definitely slows down my pace significantly.

"Hey Lance!" But this wasn't the voice I was expecting, it wasn't Keith, but Shiro. Although I could hear another voice in the background,
"You asshole! Shiro, give me my phone back!" Keith sounded far away, but he was still loud in the receptor. His voice sounded broken, was he crying??

"Don't worry Keith," the muffle of Shiro's voice came through. What the hell was going on over there? "Anyway. Lance! we were wondering- Keith, was wondering if he could take you up on that offer on dinner?"

"Are you sure Shiro? He, um, I can sorta hear him back there. Is he doing alright?" I whispered into the mic, turning away from the sidewalk so anyone passing by wouldn't overhear anything. My anxiety grew as I thought more about this; I could still hear Keith sobbing in the background, was that my fault?

"Oh- he, is-" Shiro started, but he faded out. Then I heard a thump sound as if the phone was dropped, then shuffling before nothing. The call ended. It wasn't over for long though, soon my phone was ringing again and I quickly picked up. 

"S-sorry for that.." It was Keith apologizing. I still heard a few sniffles still, as well as Keith cursing under his breath. "Shiro thinks he can help me by, ya know, helping me make friends. Not really helping though..."

"Oh, yeah." I had absolutely no clue what to say to him. "Hey, um, you don't have to come to dinner. Like, if you're just not interested that's fine." I suggested, with a heavy heart of course, I still want to be able to have him over for dinner one of these nights, but if he's not up to that I wouldn't want to force him.

"No. No, I would still like that- I guess.. at one point or another. Just not now." He answered, a small shakiness still in his voice. "Shiro's not here anymore by the way, I kicked him out of my room. So, if you wanted to talk to him-"

"No talking with you is nice." I said quickly. What? What did you just say Lance? What if he takes that the wrong way? I heard I soft snicker on the other side of the call, making the bundle of thoughts in my head disappear and my own smile appear. "That was a weird thing to say, sorry," I admitted with a slight chuckle of my own,

"Kinda? But I appreciated it." Keith sounded so much better then he did earlier. I wonder how many people actually tell him that kinda thing, that it's nice talking with him, or wanting to get to know him better. I wonder if he just goes through life not hearing that, so he believes no one cares. Shiro is right, Keith does need a bit of steering, but he was doing it the wrong way; he was forcing rather then guiding.

"Hey, I know you can't come over to dinner tonight, but, maybe we can hang out tomorrow? Nothing to much, maybe just a walk along Main Street." I suggested after a moment of silence over the line. Perhaps the jump right from nothing to dinner was to high and stressed Keith out? Maybe this was an easier hurdle. There was another long break of silence between us,

"It sounds nice, I'll get back to you on that, is that alright?" This time, when compared to earlier at the house when he didn't sound so enthusiastic about moving the dinner to a later date, he sounded truthfully full hearted into this idea, although he still sounded hesitant.

"Just one step at a time, you don't need to jump in all at once" I assured him, trying to mimic the soft voice my mamá uses on me when I'm stressed out. I hear a sigh of relief on the other side, and I know he's ok, "we'll just play it by ear, hows that sound?"

"That sounds great, thank you Lance," I close my eyes and try to imagine how Keith might look right now, imagining him with a happy smile. "I'll text you in the morning then. Bye"

"Bye, Keith" I pulled the phone away and looked at the call screen for a few seconds before I hung up.

Taking a deep breath I stood up, slipping my phone back into my pocket as I take my first normal step in a while, one that wasn't small in order to fit the five steps in, or one that wasn't completely still due to my worry over the conversation that just ended. Although, the conversation went pretty well I think. I gained trust with Keith, that's always a good thing in starting a friendship. Although I am concerned for him; what makes him act so hesitantly like that? I know it's not my place to ask about it or even know, but I can at least stand by his side as he goes through it, so he doesn't have to face it alone.