Metanoia

12: Stroll with You

It's about thirty minutes until Lance is supposed to come around and pick me up. My heart is racing and my stomach feels like it's sinking, I am unable to catch a good deep breath. My phone is now warm in the palms of my hands, having sat there for a while with messages open and on, I'm just looking at the keyboard, wondering if I really want to do this; if I don't want to follow through, I can just message Lance right now, it'll be fine. I'm not even dressed yet, I'm still in that hoodie, and the sleeves are still sort of damp from last nights tears.

I can't make it today, sorry.

Wait no. I quickly delete that.
Is there another way I can rephrase that?
Why am I so hesitant about this?

Hey! Are you still up for today?

Thank god! Lance texted me first. I can see his dorky smile be his message as if he was right here. Even though the text was appreciated, it made my mind foggy, and made my heart beat faster, and before I knew it, I saw another message on my screen, sent,

Yep!

I sent that! What the fuck?! Why did I do that? That was so counterproductive Keith, uhhg!,

Great! See you soon then

Shit shitshit fuck fuck IM NOT EVEN READY! Even though it's still quite early in the morning, I've drained my phone to about 60 percent by just sitting here starring at it for who knows how long; I quickly plug it in before I roll out of bed. I literally roll out of bed, I was all tangled up in the blankets, what did you want me to do?

Quickly throwing off what I had on (and really REALLY trying hard to not catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror so I don't have to see that scar), tossing the sweater and sweatpants onto the bed before riffing through the clean clothes I have in my bag still. Sure, this shirt will do; just a plain, red, soft shirt. I don't have any clean pants though, but these smell alright so they should be clean enough, the black jeans go with the red shirt anyways, even if they were a bit faded. I try to tame my hair at least a bit, and quickly brush my teeth, hoping Lance doesn't stop by while I'm still getting ready. I got lucky that he didn't.

Actually, I don't even want Takashi, nor any of the Shiroganes, to know that I'm gonna go hang out with this guy (or as they would say it "make a friend"), that'd be just to much of a burden on my part.

"I'm headed out! See y'all soon" I call out throughout the house as I briskly walk down the steps, getting a few replies as I slip on my black high-tops next to the door. Lance was just down the road when I left the house, his face lit up when he saw me, waving to me. I quickly made it over to him, turning his walk the other way so that we were now walking back towards main-street.

"I guess you saw me out the window or somethin?" Lance asked. I can feel his eyes fall over me, not a judgmental stare like I'm used to, but more like of softness, like he was checking up on me. It was just a slow pace we were walking, this was more like a measly stroll rather then a walk with a goal to get somewhere.

"Haha, no, just luck I guess. I can see why you'd think that though" he'd probably get annoyed with me if I told him the real reason I left without him reaching the house, how I didn't want the constant prodding from the Shiroganes about 'my new friend'. But, also, maybe I'm just thinking about this to much and it isn't that big of a deal. I clear my throat before looking back up to him, "so, uhh, Lance? What exactly did you have in mind for this?" I tried to throw a little chuckle in there.

"Mmmnn. Maybe stop at the beach, maybe get some ice cream. Nothing to much. Did you have anything in mind?" Yeah, he did say last night that this is just going to be a calm walk down Main Street. I feel a weight being lifted off of my chest, and I can breath again. I forgot for a little while there that this wasn't going to be a big thing. Thank you Lance.

"The beach sounds nice, but it looks like neither of us brought towels so we could actually rest on the beach. Um.. and for the ice cream- I'm lactose intolerant, sooo-"

"Oh! That's ok! They have lactose free options. And we can, well- if you want, I can- stop by my house to grab a beach blanket or two. Sitting on the beach sounds nice actually." The first time I met him, he came off as a sort of abrasive and irritating, not that that has changed so much, but now he has a kindness and selflessness to him that I can try to admire from afar. I saw him look back to me, and a large grin took his face before he quickly looked forward again.
What? Wait.
Oh! I guess I was smiling too! I can't help it. My small smile refuses to be suppressed, I look over to lance and nod a bit,

"Alrighty then! Ice cream first, then we can go to the beach." The walk to the small ice cream parlor was a short one, though I guess all the walks in the town will be short ones. When we walked in, the inside air hit me with a fresh coolness that started to contrast the growing heat of the morning outside, it's that icy coolness you can only get by walking into an ice cream shop, it was very nostalgic. The rows of tubs of ice cream inside of the freezer on the side of the counter was gleaming in my eye. I quickly made it over to the freezer, keeping myself from pressing my hands against the glass.

"Oh! Lance! I wasn't expecting to see you here until later." A soft feminine voice with a bit of an accent came from behind the counter, I don't look up, I'm still entranced by the ice cream flavors, trying to remember what each tasted like.

"Welp, you'll probably see me later too! I'm treating a new friend right now, right Keith?! What flavor do you want?" How could I choose?! There are so many I want to try again, they all look so good! "I think Keith wants a small scoop of each! And I'll have-"

"Chocolate? Like always?" The girl said, a laugh in her voice that even I found amusing.

"Yep! Thank you Alura"

"Coming right up!"