Different Story | Grey's Anatomy

• Chapter 6: Stitches •

Lexie remained focused throughout the surgery, because it was not about Mark Sloan. It was about the patient on the operating table and the only thing that mattered was the patient's well-being.

She was really just standing there, observing Sloan's work, handing him the instruments, which was in Lexie's opinion the nurse's job, but she did not dare to comment or say anything at all. Of course, she wanted to participate in the surgery, even if it were just a small cut or even just a stitch, but she was only an intern.

An intern at the bottom of the surgical hierarchy; without the right to say or comment on anything, or she would be risking her job. No one likes a smart-ass intern.

"Grey, are you paying attention to what I am doing?" Mark caught her off guard and she tried to figure out what he was doing, based on what she could see.

"Y-yes, doctor Sloan, you are using a particular technique of suturing," she quickly replied and observed the technique. "Running subcuticular suture, I believe; in order to enhance the cosmetic result. It is useful for closing wounds with equal tissue thickness."

"Correct, but I can tell that you haven't been paying attention. If the surgery is boring you, you are free to leave," Sloan commented, still focused on suturing. The wound was almost closed by then.

"No, sir. I'd like to stay and learn."

She closed her eyes and quietly sighed, but luckily no one acknowledged it. She hated how he called her out in front of everyone, when he knew the reason why she was zoning out. In that moment, she hated him for what he was doing to her.

She continued observing the technique carefully, trying to memorize the movements. Nevertheless, this was still a good learning opportunity she had to take and suck up all the negativity.

Within 15 minutes, the surgery was completed successfully and Lexie felt some sort of relief after Mark stepped away from the operating table and away from her. She was left there alone with a few nurses, who were trying to take care of the patient and she moved out of their way, so that they could do their job properly.

She thought about heading towards the scrub room, but as she looked through the window, she noticed that Mark was still there and he wasn't alone. Next to him was a young nurse, with red hair and fair skin; at first it seemed as if they were talking about work, but based on the nurse's giggles and Mark's behavior, Lexie could tell that the conversation they had was most definitely not about work.

It stung her, but only for a brief moment. She remembered the words she told her niece a few days prior: I won't let you fall in love with boys who play around, you know? No one deserves to have their feelings played like this, Zola.

Lexie held her head high and a slight smirk formed on her lips as she made her way towards the scrub room. If he had decided to make her life hell, she would make his life impossible, too.

"I hope I am not interrupting anything," she said as she walked in, still smirking. The young nurse turned around, facing Lexie and she had to admit; the nurse was indeed very pretty.

"No, no, Grey. Maya was just heading out."

The nurse, whose name was apparently Maya, smiled shyly and quickly walked out of the scrub room, before Lexie was able to say anything else. The two of them were left in awkward silence and tension, which was broken by Lexie herself, as she began washing her hands. Mark followed and did the same.

"So, Maya, huh?" she spoke up as she was scrubbing. "Do you call all nurses by their first names?"

"No, I don't," Mark answered after a brief moment of silence, as he tried to come up with an answer.

"Oh, so only the ones you've slept with? Or the ones you are planning to sleep with?"

Her question shocked him.

"Grey..."

"Yeah, exactly. I am Grey and that's what I've always been to you, right? Not Alexandra, not Lexie, just Grey," she continued and faced him as she was talking. This was her moment. She did as Meredith suggested, she was putting him in his place and she felt great.

"Am I not colorful enough for you, because I am Grey? Not interesting enough? Not slutty enough? I tried Sloan, I tried to do anything, but you never cared about me the same way I cared about you, or at least that's the impression I am getting from you."

In that moment, Lexie heard her voice crack. She was slowly, but surely losing control of her emotions; yet there was no one who could stop her.

"You can take everything you want from a person, right? Their time, feelings, their heart... But you don't give anything back. It would be too much for you, right?"

With those words Lexie stormed out of the scrub room and continued walking down the hall with a fast pace. She thought this would make her feel better and at first it really felt great... But in the end, it ended up feeling as if she was stabbing herself in the chest repeatedly, meanwhile he was only standing there, watching her bleed out. And that stung her even more than the whole Maya thing.

She ran down the hall and tried to find an empty on-call room, unsuccessfully. Her eyes were burning, but she had promised not to cry in front of anyone. She then ran to the bathroom and locked herself in one of the stalls, where she finally broke down. It was all too much for her to handle.

You watch me bleed until I can't breathe,
shaking, falling onto my knees.
And now that I'm without your kisses
I'll be needing stitches.