Different Story | Grey's Anatomy

• Chapter 7: My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark •

She was holding her tea cup with both hands, trying to keep them warm. She was sitting on the floor, leaning against a wall and just stared down the hallway in front of her. Meredith was right next to her, checking on her every now and then, just to make sure.

"You know... I am not even sad, Mer. I am just... Angry," she stated bluntly and sipped on her tea. Meredith knew she was only saying this to protect herself and her feelings and she did not want to pressure her to talk about it. At least not for now.

"I get that, Lex," Meredith replied softly and placed her hand on Lexie's shoulder. This whole situation involved a lot of emotions and she was not used to handling them well. She wanted to be supportive though.

The hall was isolated; there were no patients, no frustrated doctors or confused interns running around. The white hospital walls felt strangely cold as the two sisters sat on the floor in silence and isolation. Although, Lexie thought isolation felt nice for a change... It felt almost as if the entire world stopped and shut down and all that was left was a lonely hospital corridor.

"Bailey will be looking for us if we don't go back," Meredith mumbled quietly. "Besides, the emptiness of this hall is starting to give me the creeps."

"I like it here. I can't run into him here."

Meredith stood up and offered Lexie a hand.

"You're right, the chance of running into a ghost of a dead partient around here is a hundred times higher than the chance of running into Mark Sloan," Meredith replied mockingly, trying her best to make her sister smile, while helping her to get back on her feet. "Or maybe an angry spirit of Miranda Bailey. That would be interesting."

However, Lexie kept quiet. Not that she wanted to, but she simply did not know what to say or how to feel. She felt all sorts of things, but couldn't figure out a single sentence, no matter how hard Meredith tried.

"Lexie, you knew this was going to happen, one way or another. You told me about it, remember?"

Meredith was right and Lexie knew that very well. It was hard to admit that the situation was the way it was, but it was the truth. She was done with Mark Sloan's pointless games. She had to hold her head up high and move on, not just dwell in the past. Of course, it hurt more than she initially thought it would, but... She would rather be hurt for a short period of time, than be constantly heartbroken in the long run.

"Let's go back," Lexie faked a smile and Meredith knew that, but did not dare to comment on it. She knew how heartbreak felt as well. And sometimes faking a smile is all a person can do; for others, as well as for oneself: to protect the vulnerable side of ourselves. To hide it from the world, so no one can see and no one can ask further questions...

It's a temporary way out... But there is no such thing as an easy way out of a heartbreak.

Even in the evening, when Meredith picked up Zola from daycare, Lexie sat in her sister's car and her frustrated mind just kept rewinding and replaying the same scene over and over again. She forgot about it as long as she was working... But after she had finished her rounds with doctor Bailey, after she had assisted in a surgery with her brother-in-law and after she had overall avoided Mark Sloan all day, she was back at the beginning.

Mark Sloan... Of course, she loved him and now she was going in circles. The question which was bothering her the most was if he ever felt the same... Did he ever look at her and think of her as someone who he could love? Not only momentarily.

"Meredith?" she asked quietly, while she let Zola play with her hair. Her little niece made her smile and calm down for a little while. "I did the right thing, right?"

"It's not my part to tell if you did the right thing or not, Lex," Meredith replied and looked at her sister. "That is up to you. Give it some time."

Time. How much time will it take? A day? Forever?

I just got to get you out of the cage,
I'm a young lovers rage
gonna need a spark to ignite.
My songs know what you did in the dark.