❤Kpop Oneshots Book 2❤

Me Before You ~Kun~

Hey,

By the time you read this, you would've gotten out of work and just got home. This letter to to explain everything you are going to be seeing and hearing. I did what I did because I see no way out and therapy doesn't and won't help me now. No one can know but you. You're the only who would listen and see it clearly without bias.

Last night, that fight with my sister and my mom only made what I've been told my whole life because true. I'm a problem. No one can fix it but me. The reason why I got mad is because she attacked me. Attacked me where my pride was best, my responsibilities. The place where I can outshine everyone. I do the house cleaning, I go to college, I go to work, and I cook for the family. I care and feed the dogs. I'm the dependable one. When people ask me what I do, that list is my confidence. She attacked it. Its the only thing I'm confident in.

It was wrong for me to fight back. Going against her and my mom. If my dad was here, he'd tell me to leave the house. My mom even threatened to hit me as a punishment for talking back. It isn't abuse or anything like that. Not at all. These days that might be what it is but if you're older, like me, you would know that if you did something wrong that slippers is coming. Anyways, I fought back at her and said, "Go ahead. It doesn't hurt." When she attempted, my tears kept falling but I didn't flinch or move a muscle. I couldn't. I had to stand my ground.

It isn't my sister's fault that I'm doing this or that this happened. But it's because of me. Our fight wasn't big, but it made me realize how stupid I was and how imperfect I really am. No one would really get it I guess.

I don't want you to blame my family for what I am doing or what I did because it wasn't them. It isn't my sister's fault for what happened. Not my mom's or dad's. It was mine. I started the fights and now I'm finishing it.

All these little fights add up and the question we all ask ourselves in the end is, why?

This was so small so why? Why did this small thing bother me so much that I fought for it? Why does this matter? Why does it keep happening? Did I not learn? Am I just growing stronger? What am I missing?

I asked myself these questions and it came down to one thing: All my work is my confidence and pride.

I put my pride all up into one thing and that's my life's fight. I strive to add more to that list because I want to be seen and heard. I was selfish cause I wanted people to see me and my hard work. Me and my confidence.

I was so selfish that I didn't see you there, listening to me. I was scared that if I acknowledged you listening then I would run to you every time and burden your life with mine. I was so selfish because I believed I was strong enough to hold everything on my own. I made myself believe that I was the only one who could get myself back on my feet. That I was the only cheerleader for myself. I say my accomplishments so that people would know that I am doing things. That they should be proud of me. It was a way to build my pride.

I know that I what I am doing is going to hurt my family and you.

You were the only one to look at me with those eyes. The one who climbed every wall to meet me. To see who I was.

Qian Kun. You're too perfect for me. I don't know why you even wanted to be my friend. I don't know what you saw, but im happy I was able to get a glimpse of what friendship is. What love is.

I can even remember the first time we met. You were all bruised from a fight you had with another gang. I was sitting on a park bench after a fight with my mom. You sat beside me and handed me your handkerchief and said, "Here. I'll be back for it."