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-Off Camera-

Yixing: You doing that again? You're going to tell them huh? Have you even talked to him?

Yuci: We are live! Shush!

-On Camera-

Yuci: Ignore that. That story is for another day. Anyways, this is almost the end. This story is actually about someone liking me. He was interesting I'd say. I met him when I met Nine Percent. Cai Xukun.

We clicked right, but I didn't dare to follow through. Xukun was pretty perfect. He was no Zhu Zhengting but because of Zhengting, I shoved the feeling between us. I wasn't going to ruin a friendship. So, I never let it get more than that. I feel terrible to do that to him but it was what we both decided.

Xukun and I were similar to how Zhengting and I were but we kept our "romance" fling on the DL. It happened after Zhengting and I, and before I started dating Shownu. I remember how Xukun and I kept everything between us. Just us.

I also remember when we decided to not see one another too...

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Xukun: Hey, Yuci!

Yuci: Wassup?

Xukun: We need to talk.

Yuci: We can't Xukun.

Xukun: We have to. I need to tell you-

Yuci: I know...

Xukun: Please.

Yuci: Xukun. I'm sorry.

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I remember when I would see him. We would smile but with sweet bitterness. I didn't know what I should do. He liked me but I didn't feel the same for him. Not like that. We could've been something if I met him first or if he told me before Zhengting and I got so close. Cai Xukun and I could've been.

It was hard seeing him when I knew his feelings. All I could see was the love lost in his eyes... The look that shows what he wanted most... The person he fell in love with. Me. My reflection in his eyes. His grief...

We laughed, talked, cried, and smiled at one another. I will never forget the day he told me...

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Yuci: Zhengting, I'm here. Ting? Where is he- Xukun?

Xukun: Yuci...

Yuci: Whats going on?

Xukun: We need to talk.

Yuci: Xukun, I don't know if we should be doing this-

Xukun: Yuci, I'm in love with you. I need you to know that and this.

Yuci: Xukun...

Xukun: I'm going to let you go. I didn't want to believe it. That you liked Zhengting.... I really didn't. But... That's okay because we have a long time. There's time for us. We have all the time in the world. Goodbye, my love. I'll always be here for you.

-----------------------

He gave me a kiss that day. One right on my forehead.

I have never seen something like that. Ever.

Letting go... A concept where knowledge is known but ever rarely experienced to the fullest extent.

To be honest, I didn't know if what he said was true. That he loved me. I skeptical of it. Even now... With what I'm going through. I don't know if I ever really was. How do you know? Life isn't like a drama, or a movie, or a book...

Figuring out if I am in love or not right now is hard to even grasp. Am I or am I not?

Cai Xukun and I are still friends. We do what we use to but now that I know he'll be alright... Makes me feel at ease more than I use to. I don't deserve Xukun. Xukun deserves someone who won't be scared and push him away. He deserves so much more than just me.

He was just too perfect for me... He knows that now. Maybe in the next life.

We talk about it. About the "could have beens," the "should've beens," and the "would've beens." About us. We remind one another that our past was shaping us for every moment we spend with one another. He and I may have not been Lovers but in the next life, hopefully we will catch one another in the right time and moment.

I was able to walk out of there because I had someone to pick me up. He's been there for me for a long time... Now all that remains is, Do I love him?

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