Am I Crazy?

Maybe They Are Right.

TW // mention of suicide ish things towards the end 

Also that's Ash up top he's an Akita

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I don't remember falling asleep but mom woke me up with lunch.

"I brought you a salad from McDonald's I wasn't sure what you wanted to eat." She said placing a bad on my dresser. "Theres french dressing in the bad but we have other dressings in the fridge."

"Thanks mom." I tiredly said sitting up.

"I'll be in the living room if you need me I'll let you know if I leave." she continued walking out of my room shutting the door.

I grabbed the bag with a small salad in it. I don't feel hungry though. I feel like I could go days and still no be hungry. I sat the salad in my mini fridge and laid back down. I just want to disappear.

My phone buzzed and I groaned. God just leave me alone. I thought looking down at my phone seeing Connors contact on my screen. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't need to talk to anyone. I tossed my phone across the room on my couch. It continued to buz with texts but I couldn't be bothered. I need a break. Maybe I just need to leave.

"I'm going back into work I'll be home before dinner." Mom called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Alright." I yelled.

Now I'm home alone. I suddenly don't want to be isolated. I dont want to not talk to anyone. I need someone.

I got out of bed and walked over to the couch in my room picking up my phone. Connors been trying to get ahold of me maybe he would want to come over.

Connor : Hey you awake yet?

Connor : Just wanted to see how you were

Connor : I sound like a creep don't I?

Connor : I can leave you alone if you want.

Me : No actually I'm not ok

Me : Do you think you could come over I don't want to be alone.

Connor : I can leave now send me your address.

I did. I anxiously waited for him to show. I hated myself for asking him to come over. But I need someone here. Incase I try something. I just need someone. I'm a mess. I know I am.

A knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts. That must be Connor. I headed downstairs to answer the door. Once I reached the door and opened it I was greeted by a worried Connor.

"You said you weren't ok." he quickly stated as soon as he saw my face.

"Can we just go to my room." I asked "It's a lot more calming up there. My space you know?"

"Yeah no we can hang out wherever you want." Connor responded a small smile on his face.

I gave him a weak smile back before showing him to my room. My room was a loft area that covered most of the top floor of the house excluding my bathroom. So I guess that's nice.

"You're rooms pretty big." Connor said breaking the silence in the room.

"Yeah." was all I wanted to say.

I don't want to talk I just want company. Human company.

I looked over at Connor who had sat down on my couch. I watched as he looked around my room. Taking everything in. His eyes seemed to stop wondering when they landed on my flag and my heart dropped.