Am I Crazy?

Isolated And Scared

I watched as the trees passed by and the fields started to pass more and more. I wasn't going to be in the same city and that's what freaked me out the most. I wouldn't have Ash I don't know anyone and I've never been to Castle city before. The scenery was calming but not calming enough.

"Everything's going to be okay you know that right." The nurse driving stated breaking the silence.

The much hated silence. Something that made me feel worse and worse. I just nodded.

"If you don't mind me asking why are you going in?" she asked.

"I guess I have schizophrenia. I admitted myself mostly." This isn't so bad just her and me talking in a white van on a highway.

"Oh? I've never met someone who wanted to get sent to Rolling hills." She seemed more calm now less tense.

"I've tried to take my own life before many times." I took a deep breath "I failed obviously and I wasn't going to try again I knew there was help."

"Your brave." She said looking over at me.

"Yeah right it took years to build the courage to ask for help." I scoffed.

"You still got help though. You did what others couldn't." She seemed proud. I wasn't.

"How much longer till we get there?" I asked changing the conversation.

"About 15 to 20 minutes." She answered.

I started out the window again. 20 minutes until I get there. 20 minutes until I have to share a hospital floor with 15 other teens. 20 minutes.

I try to seem strong and brave but I'm not. I'm being held together by meds and a dog. I'm broken. I can't act like this forever. I can't just pretend that everything's alright. I feel like shit and it's time to own up to the fact that I need help. I need it.

"Hey were here." The nurse said gently shaking my shoulder.

How long had she been trying to get my attention?

She helped me get my things before we entered the building. It looked like a normal hospital. Patients and doctors a few nurses scattered around.

"Were gonna be taking you to floor 6." The nurse calmly said as she walked me towards the elevator.

It was quiet after that. No words no sounds. Just the faint beep as we passed each floor. When we had gotten to the 6th floor I was sent to a desk and the nurse had left.

"Oliver Murphy?" She asked.

I nodded. "That's me."

"Can I see you're bag?" she held her hand out.

I handed her my bag and watched as she pulled out every single piece of clothing closely looking through each fold and pocket.

"Everything looks good Dr. Nelson will be with you shortly please take a seat." She was pointing at a small row of chairs on the other side of the small waiting room.

I walked over to my seat and began to fold everything backup and place it in my bag. Making sure nothing was missing and also checking to see if I somehow brought dog treats with. I didn't.

"Oliver Murphy?" Another doctor asked.

Why does everyone insist on calling out both names especially since I'm the only one here. I stood up though and followed him as he had beckoned me to do. Through a door that needed key card access and down a narrow hall. It was then when I noticed I had already entered the ward.

"I don't want to go." a girl whined "therapy is stupid."

Gods if only she knew what wonders therapy can actually do.