𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐃

01: blurred night

His throat burned. Not only did his hands shake- no. His chest, his arms, his legs- they were trembling, which caused him to bite his lip. It didn't help. So he pressed his thumb between his teeth and bit in it. Feeling his teeth slightly cutting his skin- but it made him feel better to express what he felt inside.

He was bleeding, burning- ripped apart by his own emotions.

His view was blurred by tears but his memories weren't. They were clear.

"Grey-" Mikel, Justin's best friend, tried to talk to him, "Brother, come inside it's raining and cold."

Justin or how his closest call him Grey didn't listen. He continued staring up in the dark sky, swallowing the threatening tears. Suddenly, he felt a soft hand grabbing his shoulder, making Grey look in Mikel's eyes.

"It's raining. Come and sit in the car. It has been twenty minutes already," Mikel explains and tried to get into Grey's head.

He just nodded, tried his best to show him that he doesn't feel like someone is sliding through his whole body with a knife.

But Mikel knew his best friend, he knew he is dying inside. He knew that he is still hurt.

Grey always had difficulty with emotions.

"Another one?" Mikel asks Grey as they sat in the car and he handed him a joint.

Grey didn't hesitate to take it, he needed it. As he lit the joint and sucked the smoke deep inside his lungs, he felt his nerves calming down directly, "Fuck, yes."

"You're not working tomorrow, are you?" Mikel asks Grey. Looking to his right to see how much calmer his best friend looked than five minutes prior.

Grey shook his head, inhaling another suck, "Off for a week. Dad is taking over."

Mikel nodded, "Should we go to that party? The one Brooklyn called us to."

Brooklyn was Mikel's girlfriend- who's studying chemistry at the University of New Orleans- she invited both of them to a party.

Grey nodded without thinking twice, he wanted his best friend to have his fun instead of depressing him like himself. Grey would have his silence too, Mikel would leave him alone there to enjoy his time with his girlfriend. And Grey? He'd find a spot to smoke and torture himself with his own emotions.

**

It has been an hour already, not only is Mikel high but drunk. The music was blasting, everyone enjoyed the party in their own way. Couple were dancing, couple were swimming in the pool and couple were probably having sex in a corner.

Grey walked around the streets and found a bus stop. Sitting down to smoke his third joint for today. Why he smoked so openly? It was 2 am and no bus would come by and stop, nor would any drunk young-adult come to the idea to walk a couple of miles to where Grey currently is at.

He checked his phone, no calls. No texts.

"Fuck you," he hissed to himself as he imagined her reddish hair and the dimples he loved so much.

He accepted their different paths of life. He accepted it like another fact in life but the way she left, left scars on him.

Grey wasn't someone who is emotionally attached. When he loved, he gave his all because he knew it would be the right one.

She wasn't.

Grace wasn't.

"But she felt like the right one."