Philophobia

The Player

Dylan's pov

The first time I saw her I started to take note of everything her smile, the twinkle in her eyes when she laughed, the way she talked with her hands, her voice, the color of her cheeks when she blushed, her likes and dislikes. I stored away the information and yet not knowing why I was drawn to her my eyes followed her on their own and I didn't know why I was only 7 at the time but I knew I had to protect here and make her happy. The feelings that I had I chalked up to seeing her as a little sister and best friend and not wanting anyone to hurt her, but as I got older I realized my feelings for Jasmine where so much more. I remember holding her hand for the first time and how when she was around I felt like I was finally alive and living. We dated through the rest of middle school up until the middle of freshman year. As time went on and my feelings for Jasmine Carling progressed I found myself falling in and out of love with her one minute all I want is for her to be protected and happy, for her to be by my side and flash me one of those award winning smiles, then I'm making out with some girl in the janitors closet. That was my routine for a full 6 months be with Jas sneak off meet with the girl of the week and praying that I didn't get caught, I couldn't bare to see Jasmine hurt especially because of me but I couldn't stop what I was doing I had already dug my own grave might as well make it deep enough to hold me down. Everything was fine until that day it was the day of Jasmines championship soccer game and right before the last quarter I was bored out of my wits end and decided to call Lilly or maybe it was Lacy I really don't remember all I know is she was a hot blonde with bright blue eyes and everything else I pulled her into the gym on the side of the bleachers and pulled her to me and pressed my lips to hers things escalated from there I don't know how long we where there but I remember the clang of metal as something hit the wooden floor I kept my hands on the blonde waist and turned to see who interrupted us. It was Jas her emerald green eyes wide and sparkling with fresh tears, and her raven black hair rippled like waves down her back, it was fresh out of a pony tail her cheeks where slightly pink out of frustration and anger she was as always beautiful. I glanced at what she dropped the trophy I dropped my hands from the long forgotten girls waste and held them up where Jas could see them.

"We won" she whispered brokenly as she picked up the trophy and a tear broke free and trailed down her cheek I reached out to wipe it away but she jerked back disgusted and I flinched at the disgust in her eyes and the harshness of her voice when she spoke "Touch. Me. and I'll break your hand in two" she lashed her anger was unconfined and seemed to roll off of her in waves and all of it was directed towards me

"Jas it's not what it looks like we were just-" I started to explain not even knowing what I was about to say but she cut me off

"It's Jasmine my name is Jasmine only those close to me call me Jas and you... you are nothing to me" I flinched at her words and noticed how her eyes brushed over the blonde I followed her gaze to see that the blonde girl (whose name I still cant remember) had a smirk on her face as she watched the scene unfold. Jas turned to her "oh and you..." she struggled for the words and her forehead creased in that adorable way it did when she was in deep thought "you bleach, blonde whore since you can't find your own man I'll do you a solid you can have him...my momma always said to give you toys to the less fortunate." she continued her voice cracking on a few of the words the blondes mouth was slack open and her eyes where as wide as saucer as she stared at Jasmine the sweet girl who never downed anyone, never uttered a insult in all of her life. I guess I may have pushed her over the edge.

"Jasmine you don't mean that" I said taking a step towards her I prayed she didn't mean that even though I'd made some stupid mistakes I did love her

"And why don't I Dylan" she sneered

"Because you love me and I love you and we can work this out just give me a chance" not I realize just how cocky that first part sounded but at the time it just felt right

"No" she shook her head "I loved who you where" she put emphasis on loved "I guess I was just a toy to you huh Dyl a toy I gave you my heart and you decided to play with it and when you got tired of me you decided to crush it huh well that's not how it works here in the real world. You'll regret hurting me and another thing I gave you a chance I told you from the beginning I'm only doing this once if you mess up that's your problem oh and Dylan its over where done do whatever you want but don't follow me if you want to keep that pretty little face of yours." she ranted and them turned around and started to walk away I ignored her warning and ran behind her and grabbed her arm and she spun around so quick that she was a blur at first when she was solid again I saw the tears spilling over her eyes and after a split second of taking in her features which looked defeated, hurt, and broken. It dawned on me that I did this I hurt her, a piece of my heart broke at the site I realized I did the one thing I promised I wouldn't do. She pulled away from me and socked me in the nose it was one of those punches a guy would throw one that would've broken a bone. Jasmine hissed in pain and I felt the bone crack...with my luck she broke my nose.

She pulled back and stared at the blood gushing from my nose. Her eyes held nothing they where glassy like on thing could just shatter them into a million pieces.

"How long?" she questioned her voice louder, stronger. I didn't answer at first "HOW LONG DYLAN?" she yelled but it couldn't answer I wanted to hear her voice and this may be the last time she ever spoke to me so I'm going to keep the conversation going even if she punched me again

"6 months" I whispered

She cursed and punched me again this time harder. This time more intentional meant to hurt the hit landed right in my gut, I doubled over in pain regretting ever teaching her how to throw proper punches. I heard footsteps come toward me but they where halted by the sound of Jasmines sharp voice.

"Wait I'm not done yet unless you want to end up like him, you'll wait until I leave to approach him" it stung to hear her refer to me as if I where nothing but I guess I deserved that after what I put her through "Dylan I pray that some girl straightens you out or I'll have to" I took note of her hidden threat

Jasmine picked up the trophy that somehow slipped from her fingers again and walked out of my life the blonde rushed to my side whispering things that I couldn't quite make out, the words seemed to all mix together because all my attention was focused on the door that the love of my life walked through the one she used to walk out of my life. Lacy I think her name was took me to the nurse. After that day I bounced from girl to girl relishing in the fact that it hurt Jasmine and I still had a hold on her she turned down guys while I pretended to move on. It was funny how even though I was messing around she was a heart breaker without knowing it. But she never got in a relationship she never moved on and that gave me hope that was until a few moths later when it seemed like I was the last thing on her mind, it was then I realized she could move on she could live without me she didn't need me I needed her.

SYMPTOMS OF THE HEARTBREAKER-

Symptom 1- denial of guilt and pining after the one you've hurt

Symptom 2 of Philophobia- anger and hollow insides and also covering up your problems with other....occupations however meaningless