𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜. - 𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚢 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚐

her man/my andy.

The show is done and I haven't talked to him yet. I don't know if he noticed how shocked I was but now I think he does. He got changed and wears a green button shirt and a pair of dark jeans. His fingers go through his hair while he closes the door behind me. I purposely stayed across his dressing-room, so it would take us one second longer to get to this conversation.

His tongue wets his lips before starting.

"So..." he says.

"So..." I just repeat it, procrastinating.

"Can we talk about it now?" he asks, pointing to his dressing-room, inviting me to come in.

I just shake my head, agreeing. He opens the door with his left hand to watch me get in.

The room is actually really tidy. His clothes are hanging on the stand and there's a vase with roses in it, right in the corner of the room. I look for a place to sit, but I'm so nervous that I just stand still. He does the same after closing the door.

We spend an awkward 10 seconds of silence before he breaks it. "I can wait."

I look down and I gather strength to start my mini-monologue.

"Andy, I was a bit shocked with your act and believe I still am. There are a million reasons for me to say yes, but there's one reason that keeps me from doing so. You just left a year-long relationship, and I know how hard it is to forget someone that has been with through thick and thin, letting go of things you took years to build... I know you still love Joanna."

One single tear comes out of my right eye.

He looks down, disappointed.

"Look, I know you might feel insecure, but I don't really know what to say or do to you so you can believe me that I cherish you and appreciate you."

He's avoiding to say that he likes me because he knows I feel way more.

"Do you still love Joanna?" I ask, going back after seeing him trying to touch me.

"Do you think I would ask you to be my girl if I were in love with someone else?" he asks, skeptical.

"I don't know, you tell me."

My voice sounds sad and doubtful.

Oh, this silence.

"I don't love her anymore... but I still have a deep respect and gratitude for her. She made me the man I am today."

I don't want to be with somebody's man. I don't want to be with this Andy. I miss my Andy. I miss his goofy side out of the screen. He's a man I don't even know anymore: the Andrew I know wouldn't leave someone he said he loved. What if somebody else shows up at his door, like I did, looking for a non-correspondent love, like I felt, and he realizes he always loved her too as he did?

"I don't want to be with her man, I wanna be with my Andy."

I walk towards the door, bypassing him but before I can get to the door, he holds me by my wrist, turning me to him. His other hand pulls me close to him, holding my lower back with such strength, that I get turned on right away. His lips are so close to mine, but he doesn't kiss me.

He whispers. "I will do anything to be the Andy you want."

I breathe out, not realizing I was holding it all this time. My forehead touches his and his warm skin makes my body get loose. My hands that are holding Andy's shoulders, due to the impact of our bodies, get firm and our breaths are in sync.

With a sudden move, he presses his lips to mine. His fingers look for a place on my body to grab and my legs feel impatient. Our bodies rub against each other and we can almost feel the sparks between all the layers of clothes. We walk across the dressing-room, but not interrupting the kiss. He lifts my body, making me sit on his make-up counter. His hips brush up against mine and I can already feel his erection, making me even more nervous. His mouth goes to my neck, sucking every inch of skin, making me crazy.

One of his hands hold my left leg close to his hips and the other hold my nape, making the kiss even hotter and sexier.

I'm out of breath.

He slowly takes my black jacket off, revealing my blue silk stripe shirt and inches of skin left for him to kiss. It's my time to show him what I know. I kiss his cheeks, getting to his ears and licking his earlobes slowly, moaning almost silently. He lets out an animal swish, like if he can't take it any longer. We fall apart just for him to start unbuttoning his shirt.

"Andy?" someone shouts from outside.

We both get scared. He looks at me before saying anything.

I whisper. "Say something."

"Hi." he says, a bit louder.

"Just checking if you were still there." sounds like Akiva.

"I'm already leaving" he replies.

Nobody answers so we assume Akiva's gone. I take a deep breath, and I see what was about to happen. We were about to have sex. Like crazy. I slip from the counter to the ground, taking my jacket. Andy gives a few steps back. I look back to the mirror to check how I am looking. My hair is frizzy and my lips are really red.

"I'm taking you to dinner" he says, buttoning his shirt back.

...

The place is awesome. It is a busy day for restaurants and a lot of couples seem to enjoy the meals in candle-lighted tables.

"Am I doing it right?" he asks, putting the champagne after insisting to the waiter.

"If you ask, it ruins it. You're doing great." I can't help but smile from ear to ear.

I see a few men just outside the restaurant with huge cameras pointed at us. The uncomfortable feeling of being watched inside me grows a bit, but my wish to enjoy this dinner with him is way bigger. His smile makes all my doubts and insecurities go away. Just for a moment. Just for a night.