To Begin Again (It Girls Series #1)

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Karma 

"Good morning, my, dy..." I greeted both of them pagkababa ko. Isa-isa ko silang nilapitan upang bigyan ng beso bago ako umupo sa aking pwesto.

"Morning, sweetheart..." Dad said.

"How was your sleep?" Mom asked who's currently putting some jelly on a piece of toasted bread.

"I had a good sleep..." Casual kong sagot habang naglalagay ng omelette sa aking plato.

Ngumiti si mommy. "Great... By the way, can you take a half day today, sweetheart?"

Kumunot ang noo ko habang tinutusok ng tinidor ang maliit na portion ng omelette na hiniwa ko.

"Why, my?"

"You have an appointment today with your dermatologist... Have you forgotten?"

Saglit akong natigilan ngunit ibinaba ko na lamang ang tingin ko sa plato ko at pinaglaruan ang omelette na nasa plato ko gamit ang aking tinidor. I chew my bottom lip while still looking down on my plate...

I wanted to laugh hopelessly. I'm tired of seeing my dermatologist. Wala namang nangyayari. Kung ano-ano lang naman ang sinasabi niyang inumin ko o ipahid sa mukha ko pero wala namang nangyayari, I'm still ugly.

That's why I've decided to stop taking the pills that my dermatologist prescribed pati iyong mga kung ano-anong creams na ibinigay niya ay tinigilan ko na rin.

"Jess?" Untag ni mommy. I was sucked back into the reality when I heard my mom's voice.

I cleared my throat before looking up at her. "Uhm... Sobrang dami kasi naming ginagawa ngayon, my kaya hindi ako pwedeng mag absent o kahit mag half day man lang..." Pagsisinungaling ko.

"Ganoon ba? I will just reschedule your appointment then."

"Hindi pa ba ubos ang mga pinrescribe sa'yo ng dermatologist mo, anak? Mag ta-tatlong buwan ka nang hindi nagpapa-check up..." Si Dad naman ngayon ang nagsalita.

"M-May konti pa naman..." I lied again. God, this is making me feel awful. My parents have been nothing but good to me.

Napaka-understanding nila at ano mang gustohin ko ay kaagad nilang ibibigay iyon.

"Mayroon pa? Baka naman tinitipid mo ang gamit kaya hindi kaagad ume-epekto..." Mom said before taking a sip of her fresh squeezed pomelo juice.

I felt a pang of sadness on my chest ngunit hindi ko naman ipinahalata iyon. I know she didn't mean to offend me but when my flaws are involved, I really get very sensitive.

Para kasing pakiramdam ko ay nafu-frustrate na din si mommy dahil kahit anong gawin niya ay pangit pa rin ang anak niya. That's how I interpreted her words...

Yes, I'm grateful for her efforts to get rid of these pimples but I just want them to make me feel that even though I'm not one of those beautiful teenagers, I am still enough. That I can still fit to be their daughter.

I want someone to make me feel that I don't have to be literally beautiful just to be beautiful.

Pasimple kong tiningnan ang wrist watch ko.

"My, Dy, I'm going to be late. I have tl go..." Pagdadahilan ko na lang at saka na ako kaagad na tumayo mula sa kinauupuan ko.

I didn't let them speak, I just frantically gave each one of them a cheek to cheek kiss before zooming out of the dining area.

"Oh, Jess, careful ha! Baka madulas ka!"

"Yaya! Yaya Bebeth!" Nabuhayan ako nang makita ko ang yaya ko. She's now in her mid 30's.