To Begin Again (It Girls Series #1)

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

It Was Just About To Begin

You know what's the most tormenting pain that a person could ever feel? It's missing someone who clearly doesn't want to see you nor talk to you.

I know it's my fault, it's all on me but damn, I can't take this... it's killing every inch of me. This sharp pain has been living inside my chest for a few days now. Para bang napakahirap laging huminga.

Hindi pa rin talaga ako pinapansin si Colton, kahit anong gawin ko. Kahapon galing ako sa condo niya pero hindi ko naman siya nadatnan doon. Dumaan din ako sa bahay nila pero wala rin siya.

Nang itext ko naman siya para tangunin kung nasaan siya ay wala akong nakuhang sagot. Malinaw pa sa sikat ng araw na ayaw niya akong harapin pero ang tigas lang talaga ng ulo ko dahil nakatayo na naman ako ngayon sa harapan ng kanyang pintuan.

Wala na akong pakialam... For him, I would swallow my pride.

I fished the spare key that he gave me inside my pocket to open his door. Pagbukas na pagbukas ko nang pintuan niya ay siya kaagad ang bumungad sa akin, he was standing there, few steps away from me wearing his pilot uniform, holding his suitcase with his other hand while the other is inside his pocket.

He was so ready to go ngunit natigilan siya nang makita ako. Hindi ko alam kung ilang segundo kaming nagkatitigan pero sapat na ang kakaunting oras na iyon para lalong bumigat ang dibdib ko dahil sa paraan nang pagtitig niya sa akin.

"H-Hello..." Naglakas loob akong tanungin siya, I took frantic yet careful steps towards him.

Napangisi ako nang mapait sa loob-loob ko habang pinagmamasdan ko siya. He always look fine with his uniform, the way every inch of the fabric hugs every beautiful feature of his body, and the way he carry those bars on his shoulders gracefully makes him more look honourable... a man that is respected by many and a man that I'd never dare to claim as mine kasi ganyan siya at ganito lang ako.

"Getting back to work already, I see..." I couldn't even recognize my voice with how I tried to open up a conversation.

His stoic and hard expression didn't change, he just plainly shrugged.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I feel my heart slowly falling apart with the way he acts around me.

"You... you look handsome as ever."

He gave me a forced and plain smile. "Thanks." He said under his breath and he was about to continue walking with his suitcase beside him pero kaagad akong nagsalita upang pigilan siyang umalis.

"Bakit ka ganyan, Colton? Bakit kaya mo akong tiisin nang ganito?" Buong pait kong tanong sa kanya.

I've got no plans to breakdown in front of him but the moment those words escape from my mouth, I lost it.

And with that, he stopped mid step and then he lets go of his suitcase. He stood there, staring at me. Tila ba naglalaban pa ang kanyang kalooban, kitang-kita ko iyon sa mga mata niya.

"Ganito rin ang ginawa mo sa'kin noon, Colton... You treated me like I was a damn thin air. Ni hindi mo nga ako pinansin noong araw na umalis ako. I've been wanting to hug you tight that day pero nilampasan mo lang ako! At kahit nang makarating na ako sa LA you didn't even tried reaching out for me!" Buong hinanakit kong sabi habang patuloy ang mga luha ko sa pagtulo.

"Bakit kaya mong gawin sa'kin ang gano'n, Colton? Bakit ang dali-dali para sa'yo na tiisin ako?" Dinig na dinig ko ang pagkabasag nang boses ko at nahihirapan na rin akong huminga dahil sa sunod-sunod kong paghikbi.