Growing Pains

Chapter Eighteen

Bridgette

"So, you're telling me that we're over? I didn't even know we were together," Lightning said with a bit of a frown.

It was Monday morning and after the game Friday night, I realized that I had no interest in this guy. So, I decided to break it off with him as soon as I could.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes, "I'm not really saying that either. I'm just saying that I think we're better off as friends."

He scratched his chin, "It wasn't the sex, right?"

I nervously checked around. We were standing in the middle of a hallway. It was early morning so there were tons of people swarming around like ants on a hill.

I scratched at my cheek awkwardly and responded in a lowered voice, "No, it was not the sex." It wasn't the worst I'd had, but it most certainly wasn't the best. I felt incredibly guilty after it too, but I just got so caught up in the moment. And then, one thing led to another, and we were stripping in the back of his car.

The real reason why I was ending things was because it was the holidays. If I stayed with him, then I'd have to get him something. And that just seemed like a good way to waste money. Also not to mention, he was one of the most conceded people I had ever met.

He shrugged, "Alright, whatever. See you around, B."

I gave him a small wave, "See you around." He walked away, disappearing into the crowd of students. I leaned against my locker, tempted to bang my head into it.

I hated that I felt so guilty after every time I, well, did it. Some girls, like Heather, flaunted their sex lives. And I was ashamed of mine. I didn't have the magical connection with any of the guys. I didn't have the perfect true love that Trent and Gwen had. They waited until a couple of months ago too. They fell in love before doing the act, and I felt like I was just sleeping around with half the school.

I guess that's because that's what I was doing.

"You okay?" A familiar voice asked me—one I had been doing my best to avoid for a solid week now.

I turned around, "Never better."

Geoff looked at me with sympathetic eyes, something I had always hated, "What's wrong, Bridge?"

I shook my head, "You wouldn't understand." Actually, he would understand—given that he was one of those guys I slept with and then discarded—but I still wasn't mentally prepared for that conversation.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little mad at him. He was the main reason why I ran into Lightning's open arms—well, open DMs. If he hadn't been looking at me all, well, like he cared about me at the bell tower, then I would still be very single and feeling a little less guilty. I mean, who gave him the right to understand some weird part of me, and then, try and act like he wanted to talk to me about some deep emotional thing?

I for sure didn't!

He swallowed, "Alright. Well, if you need someone to talk to, I'm always here."

I gave him a small smile, but it felt tight and forced as I did so. "Thanks." If he noticed, he didn't show. He just beamed at me, making that one dimple shine through.

He was so freaking nice. Meanwhile, I was all teen angst and all my-parents-divorced-so-I'm-mad-at-the-world. He didn't deserve my weird emotional problems thrusted at him.

"I never liked him anyways," he said with a frown as he stared off in the direction Lightning just disappeared.

I shrugged, running a hand down my face. "Yeah, he wasn't one of my finest picks."

He nodded his head, agreeing. "I think Toddy definitely tops the list."

In spite of myself, I laughed. "Toddy Meyers!? God, I haven't thought of him since like the sixth grade."

He smiled, his eyes glowing. "Do you remember when you kissed him at my party? That was the gossip of the year." He laughed, thinking about that memory.

I laughed along with him. "Oh my gosh, and Trisha was so mad because she had a huge crush on him too." I smiled, reminiscing in simple times. "He was my first kiss."

"Any good?"

I scrunched up my nose. "He shoved his tongue in my mouth."

"From what I've heard, he hasn't changed a bit," he said with a secretive smirk. I laughed, shaking my head as I thought of that awkward first kiss.

I looked at Geoff, realizing how easy it was to be around him. I wasn't all too sure why I tried to stay as far away from him as possible. An image of him and me tangled up blasted through my mind, reminding me of exactly why I kept him at arms length and my walls high, high up.

But, it wasn't his fault. He was a good guy.

I took a deep breath, preparing myself for what I was about to say. "Listen, Geoff—"

He cut me off. "Hey, I know you don't want to talk about, well, you know. So, I won't push you anymore. That wasn't right of me, and I'm really sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable."

I looked at him, completely and utterly stunned. My heart started hammering, "Thank you."

He smiled at me, "Eh, it's no big deal. I just want us to start over." He extended his hand to me, "Hi, I'm Geoff."

I looked down at his hand, still a bit astonished, and took it. I gave it a firm shake before responding, "Hi, Geoff. I'm Bridgette."

His smile grew, making his pretty blue eyes standout, "It's very nice to meet you, Bridgette." He released my hand, leaving it feeling cold.

"It's nice to meet you too," I responded in kind. My voice felt shaky. I felt so flustered by this whole ordeal.

He leaned in, making my heart flip, "I'm glad that we can still be friends."

I nodded, overwhelmed by his sweet smell of sunscreen and cherry, "Me too." My voice was breathy. I adored that smell. It was so fitting for him, so beachy and sweet. I remember being wrapped up in his arms as that smell filled my senses. The thought sent a dangerous sort of longing through me.

His eyes flicked down to my lips once before pulling back, taking away our bubble of warm air and cherries. "Alright, well, I better get going." His cheery smile snapped back on, but his voice sounded rough, as if he was straining.

I ran a hand through my ponytail, "Yeah, me too." I felt like I couldn't function properly.

"I'll see you at lunch."

I merely nodded at his retreating figure. My voice was way too soft and he was too far away but I said anyways, "See you then."

My heart felt like it would never slow down.