Growing Pains

Chapter Thirty-One

Courtney

I pulled in front of Gwen's house, waiting for her in the warmth of the car. My emotions had been a mess the last couple of days. I constantly fluctuated between angry, depressed, annoyed, embarrassed, or a straight up mix of all four. There was one thought that was constant in my mind, however: relationships suck.

I just couldn't believe that the guy I had put on a pedestal turned out to be a scumbag. I guess it was too much to hope for a guy who actually liked me.

I waved as I saw the familiar blue bob pop out of the door. Gwen ran down the pathway to her house and hopped in the car as fast as she could, carrying an assortment of gifts and bags. She tossed her things in the back before hopping in the front seat.

She shivered and huffed out, "Damn, it's cold. We haven't had this cold of a winter in ages."

I laughed. "Don't get frostbite," I teased. She rolled her eyes and chuckled. I couldn't help but notice the lack of bags under her eyes, and how put together she looked. I had to put on two layers of concealer to hide the purple rings under my eyes from sleepless nights and endless streams of tears.

I stopped myself from asking about how she was handling everything and started to drive. We sat in silence for awhile, listening to the dreamy Christmas tunes a Classics channel was filtering to.

She finally spoke, "What did you get for Christmas?"

I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel as I let out a thoughtful sigh. "Well, I got a bunch of clothes from my mom's designer friends, which was very cool."

She nodded in agreement, "Very cool."

"I got some candles and socks— candy too." I shrugged, "I don't really remember the rest."

She nodded, not saying anything. Then she asked, "So, you're parents were home?"

I caught myself before I flinched. They weren't home. They were busy working, which was fine. Its what you had to do if you wanted to be successful. They called me, though, which was more than I was expecting. So, I was as happy as I could be with that.

"No, they weren't," I said as relaxed as I could. I already knew my friends didn't really adore my parents and their parenting style, or lack thereof. But, was it wrong for me to love them? I didn't think so. They weren't completely cruel or actively making me feel insignificant—save for a few times my dad scolded me. They were just busy, and that was that.

I saw her frown out of the corner of my eye, so I quickly changed the topic. "What did you get?"

"I got some new art supplies and some new clothes," she responded nonchalantly. I could practically hear the words she wanted to say to me, but I didn't need her pity about my family not being home for Christmas. I was fine.

I was getting irritated, a common theme with me these days, so I snapped out, "Have you heard from Trent?"

She flinched, making guilt spread through my chest like oil. In a small quiet voice she responded, "No, I haven't."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," I added after a beat. She shrugged and looked out the window, a classic move of hers. Whenever Gwen was irritated or sad or frustrated, she pulled away.

I hated it.

"If it makes you feel any better, I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to kill Justin or not. I think I might, but I also might kill Duncan. Maybe I'll splurge and go for both. Who knows?" I said in a dry voice.

She smiled, coming back out of her turtle shell. She chuckled and said, "We sure know how to pick 'em."

I smiled, "Oh yeah, we get the best guys around." She laughed and shook her head, finally pulled out of her moment of moodiness.