Growing Pains

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Bridgette

"We kind of made out," Geoff said with a flinch, as if he was already anticipating my blow up.

"What?" I said, my cheeks feeling like hot embers as my stomach dropped.

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but me. "You were really drunk and you started kissing me. I broke it off before anything bad could happen."

I let out a laugh. It wasn't one of amusement, but one of absolute shock. "I kissed you? You mean I kissed you, kissed you?"

"Well, you tried to do a lot more, but—"

"Oh, no, no, no," I said as I dragged my hands across my face. Embarrassment didn't begin to cover what I was feeling. I was contemplating running away to Mexico from this news. I looked up at him, my voice desparate, "You can't tell anyone about this."

"Why does this conversation sound familar?" He muttered to himself with a humorless chuckle.

"Geoff, please."

He looked at me for a moment, an unfamiliar emotion twinkling in his eyes. In a small voice he responded, "Okay, I promise."

I let out a sigh of relief, "Thank you."

He paused for a moment, his face filled with contemplation. He looked up at me finally and asked, "Bridge, do you remember anything from that night?"

I thought his question over for a moment, eyeing him with suspicion all the while. Finally, with the shake of my head I said, "Not really. Why?"

He took in a deep breath. "Well, because I said some things about—"

"Bridgette? Sweetie? Where did you go? I lost you for a second," My mom joked as she helped herself to another serving of salad.

"Um, I was just thinking about what you were saying," I said quickly, before shoveling another bite of mashed potatoes into my mouth.

I couldn't stop replaying the conversation Geoff and I had Sunday. He had stopped by to check on me and filled me in on everything that went down. Gwen was a mess, but apparently Trent was even worse. Courtney refused to talk to Duncan, for reasons that only DJ and those two knew, and no one was sharing. I was pretty sure it had something to do with her break up with Justin, but I still knew nothing about that. It had been nearly a week and no one had resolved their issues; I was worried about seeing them all in three days.

And then, Geoff told me about what happened between us, which made me feel just fantastic about myself. I felt so miserable I vomited as soon as he left.

And I still didn't know what to make of how the rest of our conversation went.

"About Brody coming in?" She asked me.

I nodded my head and smiled at her, my voice the perfect picture of ecstatic, "Yeah, its very exciting." My older brother was coming in to have Christmas dinner tomorrow night. He had spent most of Thanksgiving with my dad, so he promised this for her.

Brody went to the University of Southern California. How he managed to get in was a mystery to me, but I was proud of him anyways. He stayed out there for most  of the year, so he wasn't home that often. But when he was around, everything seemed brighter. It was a trait he picked up from my mother; he was always the life of the party.

I got more of my calm mellow side from my dad, but I didn't mind.

I checked my watch, "Mom, I've got to go in a little bit."

Her smile fell from her face like a glass vase shattering against the floor. "Do you have to?"

I stifled my annoyed sigh. I so desperately wanted to say that this was her fault. That last Christmas I didn't have to deal with the hassle of traveling between parents, but I held my tongue.

"You get Brody on Christmas and dad gets me. That was the deal, mom," I couldn't hide the irritation I slipped into her name, but if she noticed it she didn't say anything about it.

"I know, I know. I'm just gonna miss you," She said with a soft smile as she reached over and gave my hand a squeeze across the dinner table.

"I'm gonna miss you too," I returned her smile and willed it to meet my eyes.

I wasn't too sure why I was having so many problems with my mother recently. I knew a lot of my anger stemmed from her giving me the third degree about having sex with guys when that's what literally destroyed her marriage. She was always acting like such a saint, but in reality, she was just as screwed up as me.

And maybe that's what scared me the most.

I helped her clean up before I grabbed my bag and headed to the front door. She gave me a sad smile and a quick hug. She pulled back and looked at me. Her face carried that soft loving look that only mothers could wear. It made you feel that just for a second everything was okay.

"Merry Christmas, Bridgette. I love you," she said, her light eyes sparkling with tears in the dim light.

I gave her my best smile back, "Merry Christmas, mom. I love you too." I closed the door behind me and stepped out in the frosty night with a shiver.

I beamed as I saw dad and Brody waiting in the truck for me. Brody hopped out of the car and ran over, engulfing me into a bear hug. I laughed as he greeted me, which was muffled by the puffy hood of my coat.

In this moment, I felt the urge to cry. I remembered last year, when the world was right. I remembered when my dad had bought my mother a beautiful necklace that he said was from the kids, but we all knew we couldn't afford no matter how long we saved up.

There was the warmth of the fireplace and the smell of mom's gingerbread cookies. We would stay up watching old Claymation Christmas movies until our eyelids grew heavy, and then, we'd all magically end up in our beds the next day. And dad would complain about his back in the morning, making teasing comments on how we each needed to lose a couple of pounds.

It was good. It was pure.

I pulled away from Brody's smiling face, and looked back at the house behind me, which seemed sad wrapped with only one string of lights. I saw a face in one of the windows and then with a ruffle of the curtains she was gone.

And somewhere deep in my heart, I knew. I knew that my mom was thinking of the same things I was and missing it just as dearly.