Different

chapter 7

EMMA

I just sat there staring into this brunettes cocoa brown eyes that gleamed in the dim lights of the living room. I felt pain in every word she said...this crushed her to talk about and I felt bad for even bringing it up...she continued the story making hand gestures as she went along. I wasn't going to lie my blood boiled at every mention of the name Robin...he disgusted me.

I paused her story and got her to face me...I wasn't thinking of anything but her at this point...Killian never even passed my mind when I was with this brunette...Not even once...Who's Killian?. I lent into the brunette and placed my lips upon hers and surprisingly she went with it. she kissed back with such passion and hope that I felt bad about that she couldn't find her happy ending in someone. But maybe. Just maybe. I could change that.

WHAT?! Emma no...Killian...Killian will be heart broken...I continued to kiss Regina and pushed the Killian thoughts at the back of my head. Her hands slithered up my back as I climbed on top of her forcing our lips together and never parting them...KILLIAN.

I pause and pull away. she looked hurt by the fact I pulled away but I couldn't, not while I was still with Killian I couldn't go behind his back and besides I've known him for two years and this brunette for 2 days...ughh but I couldn't get her out of my mind. "Is everything okay?" she asked sitting up straight. I jumped off her and grabbed my jacket "I'm sorry Regina I cant do this...Killian...He's waiting for me at home it would crush him if he found out I did this behind his back" I said his a groggy voice wanting to cry. I needed to embrace the brunette once more I wanted to snuggle up next to her and sleep my problems away...but that's not how life works Emma. I look at her once again before I left and I could see tears swelling her eyes. I scrunched up my eyes finally getting the courage to leave.

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I didn't sleep at all last night I couldn't stop thinking of Regina and how much I wanted to kiss her again. Embrace her again. I held the napkin she wrote on in my hand all night not letting it go reading the words over and over 'Emma and Regina'. I scrunched up my eyes again like I did before I left Regina last night on her own. Alone. Tears swelled my eyes but I brushed them away quickly with my hand when I heard Killian's foot steps from upstairs. Fuck.

I jump up shoving the tissue rapidly into my penguin pyjama bottoms pocket and skidding into the kitchen beginning to make some pancakes. I stumble to get out the pans and ingredients for the pancakes when I heard a yawn from behind me "Morning Love" Killian said happily wrapping his arms around my waist. I lent my head on his shoulder and let him kiss my cheek. This is killing me. I pushed all the thoughts of Regina away and started to focus on the now so I don't look to upset or anything in front of Killian. "something smells delicious" he crocked "its just from a box" I smirked leaning into his neck. "I'm not talking about the pancakes" He said with a rather large grin spread across his cheeks. He spun me round and Kissed me passionately and I kissed back hiding the fact I kissed another. I draped my arms over his shoulders and then through his hair while his hands found comfort on my hips. Honestly, I felt nothing. The kiss just felt meaning less no passion what so ever...no love or comfort...Nothing. however with Regina it felt like home I connected with her instantly just though a kiss...I felt sparks fly and-. oh shit.

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I was exhausted after a long day at the station that I just wanted to kick of my shoes and relax but I didn't want to cook at all so I contemplated if I should go to grannies for a grilled cheese. My stomach argued that I should go to grannies so now... that's where I'm going.

I walked into the diner, ordering a hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon before I sat down in the booth nearest to a heater and it was freezing. I sat down at the booth waiting for ruby to take my order and that's when she walked in that Regina Mills. she gave me a week smile before walking over to granny to order something. I guess anyways. I look to the right of my where my red leather jacket lay and I saw the napkin sticking out the side with 'E+R' on it. I bit my lip and thought about mentioning it to her and how much I liked her and how much I couldn't get her off my mind...But Killian...what about Killian, Emma?...oh fuck...I placed my head in my hands and I slapped myself back into reality...I don't love Killian anymore...No but I have to he loves me and I cant crush his heart...I cant.

"Emma can I speak to you?" This sweet angelic voice said. I groaned and looked up from the table and removed my head from my hands, my eyes meeting cocoa ones. "err yes...sit down" I say pointing to the seat in front of me. she sat down with her legs crossed and her hands placed on the table and before she could speak I couldn't help my self but pull out that napkin. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped "I- I-" she began but couldn't finish. I placed my hands on top of hers causing her to do a double take from my hands to my face. "Regina, I Like you too" I blurted out. she let of a smile as she saw my cheeks blush bright pink. "what about Killian?" she questioned "I- I- don't love him like I used to...I don't feel the spark I used to with him...But with you...I feel more than just a spark" I blushed sinking into my chair "I feel the same Emma" She gave a smirk.

we talked for hours about our feelings for each other but deep down in my gut it stung like I had been stabbed with a dagger. It was the fact I was hiding all this from Killian and I know he loves me dearly and I don't think I could ever pull myself together to hurt him...seeing him cry would actually kill me.

I need to break up with him...