Peaky Blinders Imagines.

•John Shelby•

It's a warm Friday evening, the sun is slowly sinking over the horizon, casting the sky in the most wonderful pastel hues. You breath a deep sigh as you stare out of your bedroom window, watching the neighbourhood children play in the street below.

Friday night is cinema night for you and your best friend John, anyone would think you'd be excited to go out- especially considering the cinema isn't cheap. The only problem is, he's more than just a friend to you, but you're well aware he doesn't feel the same way. You've been hiding your love for the man for the best part of a year. It started as a petty crush when you were a teenager- but over the years it has grown beyond that, and there's no amount of distracting yourself that can take away the yearning you have for him. He can never know that though, he doesn't feel the same, all too clearly proven by his sleeping around, the way that he compliments every girl he sees- except from you... it doesn't matter really, why would you want to ruin a friendship for the sake of feelings? You don't, and that's what has prevented you from doing anything about it for so long.

You stand up from your place by the window, walking over to the mirror in the far corner of your room, you look at your outfit in it and scrunch your nose up in disgust. you're wearing a sky blue dress with a pearl necklace and earrings, your makeup subtle as it always is, and despite you looking beautiful, you can't help but feel the opposite; no wonder John looks at everyone but you. You huff, turning away from the mirror and walking down the stairs to sit in the living room, it's 6:45pm and John should be picking you up soon.

You sit on the sofa waiting patiently for the knock on the door as the clock nears 7:00. No knock comes. You continue to wait, thinking that he's just running late- caught up in some business with his brothers as he usually is. It gets to half past eight, he's not coming is he? Hurt and confused you give up waiting for John, instead going and getting changed into your nightdress before returning to the sofa with a glass of wine and a cigarette.

In the silence of the evening your thoughts begin to wander, wandering to the reasons why John would stand you up like this. It's not the first time he has, and more often than not these days you find yourself doing this; sitting on the sofa drinking away the pain of knowing he's probably out with some girl, romancing her in the ways you can only dream he'd do for you. Your friendship with John is slowly slipping away, fading with age and you feel so hopeless in the knowledge that you're being replaced by his lovers. That you'll never be one of those lucky girls.

•

You're dozing on the sofa when a knock on the door wakes you, you'd drank the whole bottle of wine, but luckily were still sober as you looked to the clock for the millionth time tonight, it's eleven and you can't help the confusion that takes over you that someone would come knocking so late.

You get up, not taking the time to consider what you are wearing, making your way to the door you unlock it before opening it just enough to see who it is. Upon the sight of a beaten and bruised John you open the door wider, letting him in without a word being uttered between you both. Closing the door you turn to him as he looks at you sheepishly, blood oozing from his nose and lip, a black eye already blooming, as well other bruises along his cheeks and jaw.

"Your date must pack one hell of a punch" you breathe, putting your hands on your hips, you're angry at him- really fucking angry for standing you up yet again, but the sight of him in this way makes you want to hug him, to make him feel alright. "I wasn't on a date" John mumbles, scratching the back of his neck as his hat tilts lower over his face at the action, "that's not an explanation John" You reply quietly but not weakly, refusing to let your soft heart give in. He looks at you confusion making his eyebrows narrow and lip jut out even more in it's bust state, you remain quite, eyebrows raised, letting him think through all the reasons you'd be annoyed with him.

"Shit..." he mutters as he finally puts all the pieces of the puzzle together in his brain, "I- I am so sorry Y/N, I'd never forget on purpose" he stutters stepping closer to you, you take a step back not allowing him to be close to you, "how many times have I heard that before?" You question, stepping around him in the small hallway, making your way to the kitchen to get some stuff ready to clean up his face. He follows you in, "why are you being like this? I'm here now aren't I?" He speaks in a raised tone, you slam the bowl and cloth you have in your hands onto the countertop- the noise making John flinch, "Because I'm sick and fed up of this John! I'm done with being your last choice! I'm done with being treat like a mug, and I'm done with you only coming to me when you've gotten yourself into messes you can't get out of!" You yell at him, refusing to turn and let him see the tears that brim your eyes.

He doesn't say anything, completely and utterly shocked at your outburst, this isn't like you at all. You turn to him, forcing away the tears, "now sit down before you get blood on the floor" you command quietly, pointing to the dining table in the centre of the room. He obeys your command, still lost for words, the words to make you understand how he feels about you, to try and make you understand that the distance he has created between you both is because he's fallen so madly in love with you- but he doesn't want to ruin a friendship in the fear that you do not feel the same. He's supposed to be a bad man, he's supposed to be a gangster- but he's none of those things with you, he's just John, and that's what he loves so much, you're the most beautiful, kind and wonderful person he's ever met, he doesn't understand why you've stayed for so long- how you can be friends with a monster like him. But you see through all of that, you do not fear him like most people do, you do not do whatever he wants, you're not afraid to put him in his place. Now he's ruined things, he can see by the look in your eyes as you move to him with a bowl of hot water and a cloth, as you sit down on the chair in front of him- that something has broken within you. It's all his fault.

You sit down in front of John, placing the bowl of water and the cloth on the table beside you, taking off his hat and doing the same, he doesn't say anything, but when you look into his eyes- you see he is at war with himself over something. Quietly you begin to clean him up, wiping away the blood from his nose and lip, you don't realise how close you are until his warm hand reaches up and tucks a piece of loose hair behind your ear. You pause what you are doing, stiffening up at his actions. Looking up, you see that John is already looking at you, his hand lingering by your face. "What are you thinking John?" You ask, voice barely audible, he hears you though, sighing deeply he musters up the courage to say what he's been dying to for so long. "I'm thinking- I'm thinking that you're the most beautiful girl I have ever met, I'm thinking that I'm in love with you- I'm thinking I want to kiss you right now Y/N" he whispers, letting the words spill from his lips. "Then what's stopping you?" You reply as your heart begins to race, feeling as though it may explode from your chest as the man you love says the words you'd have never expected. He cups your cheeks in his large hands, hesitant as he leans in gently pressing his lips to yours in a tender kiss that has all of the emotion you've both held in over the years flowing through it- an explanation without words.

The kiss becomes more heated as you run your hands through John's hair, tugging at the short strands. He seems to have forgotten about his bust lip as he hungrily kisses you, one hand still cupping your cheek, the other resting on your hip. Without a thought he pulls you onto his lap, bringing you closer to him, wanting to feel every part of you. Eventually you have to pull apart, chest heaving as you try to get air back into your lungs but still grinning like idiots. "So much for a bust up face" you giggle, running your thumb along his swollen lips, he chuckles too, holding onto you hips to keep you on his lap. "I love you so fucking much Y/N" he breathes, you kiss his lips again, "I love you too idiot".