Never Be Afraid Again (sequel to We'll Carry On)

Demoliton Lovers

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep

FUCK! That beeping noise was annoying as hell. Beeping was all I had heard for hours it seemed, and I was still surrounded by the blackness that swept over me. I couldn't open my eyes; they were heavy like weights, or cloth that was sewn shut. I tried and tried to open my eyes, but it was to no avail.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep

That incessant beeping was driving me insane! I wanted to scream for someone to make it stop, but I couldn't move my tongue to form the words, and I couldn't open my mouth to release them. It was like I was paralyzed. I literally couldn't twitch my finger. I wonder what had happened. The last thing I remembered was being on the beach with Gerard and him giving me my ring and something for the...

Oh my god, the baby!

I started to panic in my mind and I heard what I assumed to be my heart rate pick up.

beepbeepbeepbeepBEEP

"Doctor! Her heart rate is speeding up!" I heard Gerard yell. Gerard was there?

I had to wake up! I needed to! I needed to know what happened to my little baby, I had to talk to Gerard! I forced myself to concentrate all of my energy on opening my fucking eyes. Opening my eyes shouldn't be this god damned hard! I exert myself to open my eyes, but again, I fail.

"That's odd." I heard who I assumed to be the doctor say. "She should be awake by now. The surgery was almost 14 hours ago."

I'm trying here! Give me a break! I thought to myself.

"Why isn't she waking up? What's wrong with my wife?" Gerard growled sounding like he had stood up.

"Some patients have an extremely difficult time shaking off the anesthesia. Try to talk to her to help pull her out." The doctor stated matter-of-factly.

I heard Gerard huff, clearly unsatisfied by the doctors knowledge, and mumble something about letting anyone into med school. The legs of the chair screeched against the tiled floor of the hospital room and I felt Gee's pale hand take mine.

"Baby, come on. I need you to wake up. I can't lose you too, and I know that beeping has to be getting on your last nerve." He knew me so well.

"Just, just open your eyes for me, okay? Please? The guys are here in the waiting room, and Lindsey has been driving everyone up the fucking wall worrying about you after what happened. I have been to, honestly. I just want you to open up your beautiful eyes for me. Please let me see your icy blues." He murmured to me. Then, I heard him start to sing.

"Hand in mine into your icy blues, and then I'd say to you we could take to the highway. With this trunk of ammunition too, I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets." His voice was soft and pleading as he sang to me. I focused all of my attention to his voice, which filled the once silent room. He continued singing to me.

"But this time, I mean it. I'll show you just how much you mean to me. As snow falls, on desert skies. Until the end of everything! I'm trying! I'm trying, to let you know how much you mean to me. As days fade and night grow and we go cold!" He poured his heart into every syllable spilled from his lips. I could feel my eyes grow weary, but lighter.

"And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood. And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down. And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down. I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood. I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever!" He ended the songs in tears, leaning in and resting his head on my hand. Then finally, I felt my eyes flicker open.

The white lights were blinding; especially after being consumed by blackness for who knows how long. I looked around cautiously, not sure of what my eyes would see. I was hooked up to several machines, and tube stuck out from either arms and from under the hideous green gown they had placed me in. Finally my eyes reached a very greasy haired Gerard. He must not have left my bed side. How long had I been here?

"G-gerard?"I croaked, slowly leaning my head towards him. His head snapped up quickly and his eyes widened.

"Stormy! Oh my fucking Jesus! You're awake!" He cried, now leaning over me. I winced and he pulled back.

"Sorry baby. I forgot that you still had your stitches." He rubbed the back of his neck. Stitches?

"Wha-what happened?" I said dazed, obviously confused by the whole situation.

"Your appendix had ruptured baby. It left a serious infection in your blood stream and well.." he trailed off.

"Well what?" I pushed.

"We're lucky to still have you. We found out that the infection also affected your placenta."

"The... the baby. Is it alright? What did they do?" tears rushed down my cheeks at the thought of our baby being hurt.

"They did an emergency appendectomy. They have you on some pretty serious meds, the surgery was risky too. I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Gerard, what happened to our baby?" He was avoiding the subject for a reason; he was dancing around it very ungracefully.

"Stormy the ba-"He was cut off by a door opening.

"Ah. Mrs. Way! I see you're awake. Welcome back. How are you feeling?" This doctor was way too perky for my tastes.

"I want to know how my fucking baby is! My husband was about to tell me." I snapped which was out of character for me.

"Mrs. Way... he didn't tell you?" That was enough to build up the knot in my throat. I knew what he was going to tell me.

I lost the baby.

"I lost the baby." I whispered to myself. The tears flowed freely from my tear ducts and I didn't bother to stop them.

"Your baby's heart beat bottomed out during your procedure. The medication and sedation you were under played a serious toll on both you and your child, Mrs. Way." The doctor moved closer to me.

"Just say it already. Stop bouncing around the words." I spat at the innocent doctor.

"Mrs. Way, your baby is fine now." He smiled as I felt my heart stop.

"Knock, knock." I heard franks voice emanate from the door way of my hospital room. He wore his famous smile and a shirt that read "I'm the new Mrs. Way, so fuck you" He was wearing my shirt. He held roses in his hand. Behind him I saw Mikey and Alicia, who looked worn and tired.

"Nice shirt, I have one just like it." I laughed and held my arms out for him. He hugged me tightly after sitting the roses down on my bedside, kissing my cheek.

"Stop scaring us, okay? I mean, it's only the second time, but let's not plan for a third." Mikey giggled half-heartedly.

"I'm sorry, Mikes. No more, I promise." I smiled, ruffling his messy hair as he sat next to me.

"Hey there sister-in-law. How are you and the little one feeling?" Alicia asked sitting opposite to Mikey, he black hair pulled up into a bun, and her eyes dark from lack of sleep.

"Shit, have any of you guys slept at all?" I asked taking one of Alicia's hands.

"Nope, but Jamia is bringing us coffee, and Lindsey is getting yours." Frank stated sitting next to me.

"Yummy, coffee."

"You know, your pregnant ass isn't supposed to have as much caffeine as you do." Jamia laughed as she slid through the door, her small hands filled with coffee cups, distributing them to Alicia, Mikey, Frank, Gerard, and finally herself.

"Missed you too, Jamz. Missed you too." I laughed. Just then Lindsey ran through the open hospital door, coffee in hand. She attacked me with a bear hug and cried. It was nice knowing that I had friends who would be at my side no matter where I was. The only people missing were Ray and Christa.

I was the luckiest woman alive.

If only things would stay like this, but I should know better.

Just then, I felt my baby kick.