Never Be Afraid Again (sequel to We'll Carry On)

The missing puzzle piece

Stormy's Point of View; November 4th, 2008

The last thing I remember before going back to my body is the words Elena told me, her goodbye to me.

"Oh Stormy, you are such an amazing girl, and you will go so far. As much as I would love to keep you here with me for myself, I can't. My Gerard needs you, my daughter and Mikey needs you, and Bandit needs her mother. I would never be as selfish as to take you away. Enjoy them now while you can, dearie, because while things will get better from here on out, it won't stay that way. I love you, and please, take care of my family and let them know I'm with them. Go now, be the wife and mother you are supposed to be." With that she kissed my head and hugged me tightly- bone crushingly tight actually- and pushed me back.

I felt myself falling, and I couldn't stop myself. I had no idea where I was falling but I knew where I would land, in my body.

Falling into my body was a weird euphoric type of sensation. It was like a gravitational pull was hauling me back into myself; well my body was pulling my spirit back. I always knew I was a free spirit, not funny? Okay. As I fell back into the shell that lay lifeless in that hospital bed, I felt a click. Almost as if my body was connecting with my spirit again and locking me in. It took a few minutes to gain control of everything, but eventually I did. Then I heard their goodbyes.

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"It's funny. The first time I really met you was in a hospital, but I never thought that the last time I'd see you would be in the same place." Lindsey, my beautiful best friend was shattering with every syllable spoken. Her breath was low and shaky as she spoke to me for what she was told would be the last time. "You have been so strong, Stormy. You're such an inspiration. I wish you could see Bee, she's just like you. She stared at a painting in the lobby for a good five minutes, it reminded me of the way you studied the paintings at the art museums. I will never let you go, because you can't die. You're alive in my heart, and you can let go. It's okay to let go now. I love you so much." I imagined after her speech she was crying and did something dramatic, like fall into a chair and woefully cover her eyes. Just a stab in the dark though, even though I knew I wouldn't be wrong.

"St-storm-my, I-I lo-ve you so much." Mikey stuttered and gasped. "I will never fo-forget you, Sissy. You're m-my hero, and I wi-will always re-remember you. I'll make sure bee-beezle does t-too. Goodbye, Stormy" Mikey was in pieces because of me. His goodbye was short, sweet, and heart wrenching. I wanted to pull him into a huge hug and console him, but I couldn't. I couldn't move my body yet, I was trying. I heard him melt into who I assume would be Alicia's arms, as their sobs mixed and pierced my ears. Fuck, I hated this.

I heard Gerard clear his throat, oh fuck, not him too.

"My sweet, sweet, Stormy. I love you. I love you so god damn much. I'm not ready to let you go. I'm still holding on to the hope that you'll miraculously wake up. Not just for me or our friends though, but for our daughter. Bandit is amazing, Stormy, and I think she knows you love her. When your name is mentioned, she smiles as if she knows you already. I hope she knows you." He paused and sighed, trying to gain his composure and voice again. I wanted to hold him so badly and tell him it was alright, but again. I couldn't fucking move.

"You are everything I ever wanted, you were exactly what I needed, and I didn't even know it. You gave me the most beautiful family, daughter, that anyone could ever want. You kept all of us together through all the tough shit, even being sick. Without you, I don't want to think about what will happen, and I'll admit, I'm terrified. Baby, I don't want to say goodbye to you, but if this is goodbye, I want you to know you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I would gladly go through the fires of hell to do it all over again with you. I swear bandit will know who her mommy is, and I will never replace you. Say hi to my grandma Elena, I know she's found you. I love you." I felt his warm lips connect with my cold, pale forehead and just enjoyed that moment.