BAZ
3:00 AM
Oh my gosh.
SHut up. PlEAse.
WHy won't he stop breathing?
It's literally 3 O'clock in the morning and the only FUCKING NOISE, is that idiot's STUPID BREATHING.
CAN HE NOT SEE THAT I AM TRYING TO cONCENTRATE?
I have the worst roommate ever. I hate him so much I swear I could just about kiss him in that STUPID, PERFECT, mouth of his, with his STUPID, PERFECT hair and STUPID, PERFECT hair and-
Great, now my computer screen has timed out and I have to log in, yet again. THANKS ALOT, SNOW.
Shit, I can't even stay mad at him. He's so perfect, even if he's breathing through his mouth, which means that he's drooling in his sleep. Idiot.
5:30 AM
I gave up on trying to finish my history assignment. I've already edited it repeatedly, so it should be fine anyway.
Simon's still asleep. The sun is coming up and there's a tiny shaft of light falling across his face, making his freckles stand out. It's partly on his hair too, so that it turns golden, like those scones he's so obsessed with. He's practically turning into a scone. And I mean, he's obsessed with scones, and I'm obsessed with him, and his hair is the colour of a scone, a burnt one maybe, so he's probably a scone.
I turn to the window and stare out across the pitch. The tops of the trees are kind of glowing with the sun behind them, it's a nice effect. A rustling from behind me shakes me from my reverie. I know I have approximately 23 seconds after Simon rolls over until he wakes up, so I grab my uniform and speed walk to the bathroom. If Simon realised that I usually watch him sleep he'd probably flip out.
Wow, another detail to add to the 'Baz hates me' conspiracy. He literally keeps a piece of paper shoved between the mattresses with all the reasons he doesn't trust me. It's pathetic. I read over it every night.
He knows I'm a vampire. He used to follow me down to the catacombs, because that's where I was forced to 'hunt' all this time. I always knew he was there, he's terrible at hiding. And stalking. And kind of basically everything else.
But somehow still the most perfect being in the world.
Why would anyone choose Simon Snow, a scone obsessed IDIOT, to be the chosen one? Is destiny always this dysfunctional?
I hear his random groan-thing he does when he stretches in the morning.
Yes, yes it is.
I pry open the bathroom window, and step outside, there's this little ledge that sticks out about half a metre, and I usually sit out there for a while every morning, just to annoy Simon. I know he hates it when I take ages in the bathroom.
Mainly because he tells me. Every morning.
"Baz, it's not just your room you know, I need to get ready for class too. Also I KNOW You're plotting in there!"
He doesn't say the last part, but y'know, it's implied. I stay out for another ten minutes before crawling back through the window to get ready.
SIMON
7:00AM
As usual, Baz took forever in the bathroom.
He ALWAYS takes forever. I tell him this when he gets out. I also tells Penny over breakfast.
To be honest, I'm not sure that scones are all that healthy, especially not as a breakfast food, but hey, Wattford provides them, so there must be some kind of logic there. I mean, it's the Mage's decision, so...
Baz is sitting across the other side of the hall, sniggering with his friends about something. I manage to catch his eye and give him my best death glare.
Apparently this actually manages to get on his nerves, because he looks away and stops sniggering.
Ha, I win that one you, cold, bloodsucking, vampire-thing!
He runs his hand through his hair, so that it reveals the corners of his jaw and then half falls back into place, some pieces not falling all the way back. His hair is somehow like, really silky. I bet it's because he's a vampire.
Baz is a vampire, have I mentioned that? Well it's true. He won't admit it, but there is so much evidence. Like I used to follow him down to the catacombs and-
"SIMON. HelloOO?"
Penny snaps her fingers in front of my face irritably. Then, being Penny, she actually slaps me.
I turn to her, slightly annoyed that she cut into my thoughts. I don't know why, but I like thinking about Baz. I feel like it kind of sorts my thoughts out, and then I can figure out more information. Like his plans. Because he is evil. And I hate him.
"Simon, you're drooling." Penny says.
I frown and wipe the back of my hand across my mouth. It's not true, I wasn't drooling. I glare at Penny.
She just laughs.
"Figured out what Baz's Big Scary Evil Plot is today?"
It's funny, because she always asks me this, so I tried putting together the first letter of each word to make it easier for her. Also so that people don't overhear. It kind of sounds like 'biceps'.
Baz has biceps.
That's what he used to push me down the STAIRS a few years ago.
He kind of almost looked sorry about it though, like his eyebrows weren't in the scheming position, they were sort of-
"That bad, huh?" Penny said, kind of half giggling, and looking back at Baz. She waves at him when he looks over.
"sdfkl;hdjnwfkPENNY! DOn't do that! He'll try to kill you too!" I grab her hand and push it down to the table, protectively taking another scone as I sit back down.
BAZ
Simon is adorable, trying to 'save' his friend. He's never going to love me. We will fight, and he will kill me, because he has to.
SIMON
He's so evil. He also looks kind of sad. His lips are not curved up in their usual smirk, and one of his buddies is trying to get his attention, as it seems to have wandered...
BAZ
I hate him so much.
SIMON
I hate him so much.
BAZ
Except,
SIMON
Except I'm not allowed to fight him. I tried once, and it went worse for me than it did him. Because of the spell thing.
BAZ
Except that I love him.
And there is not a single, fucking thing I can do about it.
I'm in love with that stupid scone-loving idiot.
