Short stories!

Sleep

Lowell blows smoke out his nose, his headphones pumping music and calming his worry. He sat on his porch, watching the sunrise with restless eyes. Every night, every single night, he wants to sleep. His head hits the pillow, it's completely dark, and his eyes close-

But his mind continues to run.

It runs, it jumps, it flips- and does everything Lowell didn't want to do. Though his eyes are closed, they aren't heavy. Quite the opposite. They were only closed for a second before they opened again and darted around the dark room. Lowell was fine with it- or he would be okay with staying up late if his anxiety didn't peak. 

Always at night, when Lowell loved to be awake, his anxiety would reach ultimate high. Any sound would terrify him and cause his brain to run at hyperdrive. Often, even if it was silent, his eyes were wide with fear. He'd feel a mix of paranoia; Finding anything and staring at it until it looked unsettling. His eyes would dart in the darkness, and he would find himself trembling under warm sheets that didn't promise to keep him safe.

Lowell would feel the urge to get up and turn on his lights- just three or four steps away- but then everything would kick in. His anxiety would tell him to do it before something- something climbed up into his bed and suffocated him. His paranoia would tell him to stay in the bed, because if he got up the creatures would pounce. His depression, which he thought wasn't bothering him that much, would tell him to stay in bed. Not for any reason, just because his legs liked it there, and did he really care if monster did suffocate him?

Lowell stayed up until the sunrise. The sunrise, often there to tell him that the monsters were gone and he could finally sleep, pulled him out of bed. His anxiety and paranoia both agreed that if he stayed there any longer, he would most definitely die by something. They didn't know what it was, but whatever it was was definitely there and definitely wanted to kill him and definitely would've.

He ended up on his porch. A cigarette in between his lips to soothe his anxiety and the sunlight brightened up everything to soothe his paranoia. The only one of his illnesses that stayed by his side was his depression. It leaned on his shoulder. It was silent. It didn't need to say anything to make him feel oddly somber, just it's chilling presence was enough to chill him completely.

Lowell's had depression for a long time. It's been ruining his life for so long, that he's gone numb to the feeling. He doesn't get sad anymore, he's just...gone.

He's felt like he's just floating through his terrible life for a long time. He's just...tired, and worn out. He just wants to sleep, but so many things won't allow him to. Even when he does sleep, he wakes up and feels incomplete.

Lowell inhale more smoke, feeling it fill his lungs. He allows it to sit there for a minute, before he blows it out. The sky was turning an icy blue, and his neighbor finally exited her house, with a dog in her hand. She sets down the dog, letting it run free.

As soon as Lowell's dull green eyes landed on her, he knew it was time to go back inside. His social anxiety was even worse than his normal anxiety, with it butting in at the worse moments. To avoid contact, he gets up off his porch begrudgingly, and burns out his cigarette on the concrete bellow him. He sighs as he pushes the door open, giving his neighbor one last glance. Something in the back of his mind tells him to say high or at least wave, but he didn't have time to pump himself up to do it. Social anxiety already shot it down. Depression tugs him back into the comfort of his house to ignore his dying desires.

Lowell was making his way back to his bedroom, now being lit by the sun, but- oh no- he better rush to his bed before a monster snags his leg and pulls him down to the deep abyss. So he ends up pouncing on his bed and curling up under his soft blankets, staring at the clock that sat on his nightstand.

He can't remember when exactly sleep kidnapped him, but the ringing on his phone woke him. He turns over in his bed and takes his phone from under his pillow where he hides it. Hiding it calms his fears of it being stolen, but that's not important.

"Hello?" He answers, His voice still groggy with sleep.

The woman on the other side makes his anxiety bubble. "Hey. How are you doing, Lowe?"

Lowell sighs, recognizing his sister's voice, "....decent. You?" He pushes himself up from his bed, before laying back into the sheets.

"Decent? What does that mean?"

"I'm too lazy to kill myself, If that's what you're looking for, Pristene,"

There's a slight silence on the other side. Lowell wasn't going to apologize, since that's what he wanted to say, but Pristene's silence makes him want to puke.

He takes a shaky breath, "I'm guessing I hit the nail straight on, huh?...Is that...all you wanted?" He asks, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice. He thought, maybe just this once, he could finally spend some time with his sister without sounding like a sappy crybaby. He didn't want to ask her, since he might be getting in the way of her work or sound clingy, so he stifled the thought whenever it surfaced.

"Yeah...sorry to wake you up. Mom thought I should check on you, so...I just didn't expect you to say it like that," Pristene chuckles on the other end, and her words are only kicking him while he's down.

Lowell swallows, "It's fine. ...have a nice day, Sis," She mumbles her farewell, before hanging up. Lowell sighs, rolling over and shuffling back under the blankets. He should've known that his sister never really...cared about his existence, since he was always in his room and was so much older than her. He was dumb for even thinking it was anything but mom's doing that she even called. Maybe if he left his room more when he was a kid, he'd have something to do with his life.

Lowell sighs, closing his eyes and forcing his head back into sleep's hands. His anxiety still lets his mind run even in his dream, but for once, he feels totally at peace.