Casual Moths // Angel Reyes

4: fears and starlight

Her name is Lex. She has bright red hair and a body to die for. She knows how to move in all the right ways and how to make Angel feel good. Her skin is warm against his as their bodies are tangled with each other in his bed.

Any other day, he would be caught up completely in the bliss of a gorgeous woman's body. Not this time though. This time all he can think about is how he wishes the hair was blond and the eyes were a deep shade of brown. How this isn't enough. Not anymore.

How much that thought scares him.

When it's all over and done with and Lex falls into an exhausted slumber, Angel crawls out of bed, puts on his boxers and sits on the porch steps of his house.

It's the very early hours of the morning and Santo Padre is quiet. It feels peaceful. Comfortable. It's rare moments like these when Angel's mind seems so loud and the world seems so stil, that he really feels the gravity of it all. That he feels just how lonely he really is. How the girls in his bed will never fill the void. How the familiall bond he found with the MC will never be a proper substitute for what he's missing with his blood family.

How his heart aches for the love of another person. Fatherly love. Brotherly love.

The love of a blonde single mother.

And it scares him because, despite what others might think - what his dad might think, Angel is not an idiot. Callie is soft touches and warm smiles and love. She's too good for him in all ways considered. He's all gloomy and sad and angry and she's - magic.

Angel doesn't regret the path he chose but it's moments like these where he wonders what could be if he had taken another. If he cared a little more about academics, tried a little harder, reached out a little further. If he made his dad a little prouder, protected EZ a bit better. If all was different, would he be a good enough man for Callie ?

The sun slowly starts to rise and cover the street in a glow of pinks and blues. Angel wonders if she watches the sunrise too. And he knows that's some real pussy shit to think about and that his brothers would have his balls if they ever found out he was thinking such things. But he does anyway. Because it's the early hours of the morning and everything is quiet around him and his head is so loud and it's nice to indulge in a future he can never have but so desperately wishes he could.

- OOO -

It's later that day, when Angel is slumped down on his dad's couch absentmindedly watching some 90s TV show rerun on tv, that EZ enters the room casual as always.

" The fuck are you doing here ? "

At his older brother's exclamation of dismay, EZ raises his eyebrow in confusion.

" Uh. Was gonna say hi, see how pops is doing ? Why ? "

" Nah. You're supposed to be watching Callie " a ball of anger builds inside of Angel's stomach. It's red hot fury. He's supposed to keep the girls safe. His trust lies in EZ to be his eyes, his ears. Be the knight in shining armour he denies himself to be. He's too much of a villain to ever play that role entirely.

" She sent me away. Angel I've been watching her house from the moment she left the scrapyard last night, no sight of the car anywhere. She's at work now but she insisted I leave. Her customers are mostly old ladies and apparently they're aren't too fond of a dude on a motorcycle watching the store at all times. That's reasonable, honestly. "

" Are you stupid ? Of course she was gonna send you away. That doesn't mean you gotta leave, just keep some distance you - "

Angel can't finish the sentence though, as his dad interrupts him with a loud cough.