Kissing On His Tattoos

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" No One Told Me Life Would Be This Way, I Swear Nobody Told Me, Guess This Is The Game We Chose To Play, Crazy How It's Always Been The Same..." - Downtown(August Alsina)

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As I Walked Down The Street, Make-Up Messed Up, Clothes Ripped Up, Walking Funny, Bruises With No One To Call. Feels Like I'm Homeless All Over Again, Desmond Raped Me and It Hurt Me To My Heart. I Should've Listened! All I Can Do Is Cry, August and Jazmine Is Out Of My Life, I Don't Know What I Was Thinking When I Was With Desmond. I Ran Out Of My Own House Like The Little Scary Bitch I Am. I Could've Just Killed Him. Nah. But He Raped Me, I Don't Even Know Where He Is. I Looked Through My Contacts On My Phone and Tried To See Who I Can Call. I Didn't Want To Call Jazmine or August Cause I Know They Were Gonna Be Like "I Told You So!". I Just Need Help Right Now! I Only Have 8 People Numbers Saved In My Phone, I Don't Fuck With A Lot Of People. I Just Cried and Walked Till I Reached A Corner Store, It's Only 9pm So Of Course They Are Still Opened. I Walked Into The Store Quickly and Headed To The Restroom So No One Would Notice. When I Walked Into The Restroom, I Looked At Myself In The Mirror. Side Of My Mouth Has Blood, A Long Cut On My Cheek, and The Bruise He Already Did Beside My Eye Looks Like Its Getting Worst. I Sighed and Cried. I Am So Stupid! I Was Just A Bitch That Needed To Be Loved! I Washed My Face, Hair, and Fixed My Clothes A Little Bit. "You're Such A Stupid Bitch.." I Said Quietly and Punched The Mirror. It Cracked But I Didn't Give A Fuck. I Grabbed My Phone and Walked Out The Restroom, I Walked Out The Store and Continued My Walking. I Should've Got My Car But I Didn't Have Enough Time! He Was Trying To Kill Me.

12:24am

I Was Heading Home Hoping He Was Gone, If I see Him. I Will Kill Him. I Don't Want Anyone To Know He Did This To Me. Just Fuck My Life! I Thought My Life Was Going Perfect, But I Guess Not. I Wish I Still Had My Sister, She Was My Everything! I Wish I Had My Parents In My Life Too, I Should Have Just Been A Good Child, and Not Doing Drugs. I Would Still Have My Parents, Probably My Sister. I Never Listen To No One! I Just Can't Trust Anyone, I Think I Just Want To DIE.

I Walked Into My House, It Was A Mess. Flashbacks Were Filling My Head, A Tear Rolled Down My Cheek. I Cleaned Myself Up and The House. After That, I Was Sitting Down On The Stool and Was Gliding My Finger Against A Knife, Thinking "What Shall I Do With This Knife?" "Just End Your Life Now..." "Everyone Hates You Anyway..." "You're A Nobody..." All Those Suicidal Thoughts Went Through My Head. I Lost 5 Important People In My Life, I Just Want Them All Back. I Cried Even Harder and Shut My Eyes Tight, Just End It All Now Kendal. I Heard The Rain Hit The Ground Hard Outside, I Still Cried and Had My Head Down With The Knife Still In My Hand. I Slammed My Hand On The Counter and Stood Up. I Held The Knife About 6 Inches Away From My Stomach. Bitch, Just End It Now! I Closed My Eyes and More Tears Fell. I Was Getting Ready To Just Stab Myself Already......... Until I Heard The Door Bell and Someone Repeatly Knocking On The Door. "GO THE FUCK AWAY!" I Yelled and Looked At The Door. "Kendalynn, Open The Door!" A Familiar Voice Yelled. "FUCK NO! NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME, THEY HATE ME! THESE MOTHER FUCKERS DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'VE BEEN THROUGH! SO I'LL JUST END THIS SHIT NOW, CAUSE NO ONE WILL CARE!" I Yelled Back and Cried Harder. "OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" They Yelled Back. I Got Even More Pissed and Wanted Them To Leave, I Held The Knife High With My Right Hand and Quickly Went To The Door and Opened The Door. I Looked At The Person and Getting Ready To Stab The Fuck Out Of Them Until They Grabbed My Right Wrist. I Looked At The Person Again and Saw It Was August.....

"Kendal, Let Go Of The Knife.." He Said with His Deep Strong Accent. He Was Covered With Rain and We Were Both Breathing Hard. I Almost Killed August...."Come On, Let Go." He Said. I Dropped The Knife and Started Crying Again, He Put His Arm Around Me, Walked In, and Shut The Door. He Sat Me Down On The Couch and I Was Just Staring In Space. He Ran Into The Bathroom and Put Some Warm Water On A Small Towel. He Put The Warm Towel On My Bruises and He Sat Next To Me. "What The Hell Were You Thinking Kendal?" He Kind Of Raised His Voice. "Everyone Hates Me.." I Said Then Cried Again, I'm Just So Hurt and No One But August Would Understand. "No, Everyone Doesn't Hate You. What Happened To Your Face? Rough Night?" He Asked. I Wiped My Eyes But He Quickly Moved My Hand Since I Almost Touched The Bruise. "I'm Sorry August, I Should Have Listened To You and Jazmine. I Know Y'all Hate Me For Being A Stuck Up Bitch, I Just Needed To Be Loved. I've Been Through So Much Shit..." I Said. He Was Looking Confused and Was Looking At Me. "What Are You Talking About?" He Asked. "Desmond Is Beating Me and He Raped Me Like Hours Ago! I Am So Damn Tired August, All I Can Do Is Cry" I Kind Of Yelled. August Smacked His Lips and Put His Hand On My Shoulder. "Kendal, Grow Up! All That Crying Shit You Doing Ain't Helping, You See All That Shit I've Been Through? You See Me Still Crying Till This Day? Baby, Its Gone! Long Time Ago, The Past! You're Worrying About Whats Behind You, Worry About Whats In Front. Now Desmond Fucked Up For What He Did, Now I Think About Fucking His Ass Up, Yeah You Should Have Listened To Me, But Forget That. Just Know He Won't Put His Hands On You Again." He Said With His Angry Voice. I Sighed and Looked At Him "Thank You For Everything August, But Damn I Almost Killed Your Ass.." I Said and Tried Not To Cry. "Hey Look, I'd Rather Be With God Than This Crazy Ass World.." He Said Then Smiled. I Smiled Back, We Both Hugged Each Other For A Long Time. "I Missed You So Much.." I Said While Still Hugging Him. He Laughed and Rubbed My Back "I Missed You Too." He Answered Back.

Next Morning.

I Woke Up From The Sunlight Burning My Face. I Sat Up and Rubbed My Eyes, I Looked Over To The Other Side Of The Bed and Saw Desmond Peacefully Sleep. I Jumped A Little and Had A Confused Ass Face, I Carefully Got Out The Bed, Grabbed My Phone, and Went Downstairs. The Whole House was Filled With Quietness and Desmond Has Something Coming For His Ass. I Began Cooking Breakfast For The Both Of Us. After I Finished Cooking, I Was Fixing Our Glass Of Orange Juice. I Felt Cold Hands Wrapping Around My Tummy. "Goodmorning Baby.." Desmond Said and Kissed My Cheek. I Rolled My Eyes and I Faked Smiled "Goodmorning Desmond.." I Said Then Sat His Food and Glass Of Orange Juice On The Diner Table. He Licked His Lips and Was Rubbing His Hands Together Ready To Eat His Food. He Sat Down and Began Stuffing His Mouth. I Was Drinking My Glass Of Orange Juice and Was Watching Him Eat. He Looked At Me and Scrunched Up His Face "Why You Not Eating Bae?" He Asked Then Swallowed His Food. "I Gotta Make Sure You Have To Eat First.." I Said and Smirked. He Shook His Head and Smiled "I'm Almost Done Eating Anyways So You Should Began Eating..." He Said and Took A Sip Of His Orange Juice. I Sat My Glass Down, Stood Behind Him, and Rested My Hands On His Shoulder. "Well, We Both Have To Go To Work Today, I Get Off Before You Do, and I Have To Save My Appetite For Something Special Tonight.." I Whispered In His Ear and Lowered My Hands To His Pajama Pants. "Damn Baby, When You Become So Freaky?" He Said and Was Trying To Sit His Self Up. "Don't Worry About That, Just Go Take Your Shower and Get Ready For Work" I Said and Sat Up. "Can We Take One Together?" He Asked Then Looked At Me. "No! Tonight.." I Said and Smirked. He Stood Up and Rushed To The Shower. He Better Be Prepared Tonight.......