The Misunderstood Black Woman

Fallacious II

Why do I continuously feel pain in my life? It's like an endless battle between me having happiness and being miserable. I couldn't bear being at work any longer, so I ran out of my job. It was a foolish move, considering I had an endless line of bills to pay, but my mind just went blank, and I ran. I undressed the second I got home to get more comfortable and feel a sense of freedom.

I decided to sit in silence since it was the best way to clear my head. All I could hear at the moment was the sharp ticking of my mindless clock. Today honestly couldn't get any worse. I just left my only source of income to sit on my couch and sulk in undergarments. I had already cried most of my makeup off, and my face felt puffy and sticky. I didn't even bother to look at my phone or appearance after I got home. My phone was currently turned off, so I had no idea what was occurring in the outside world.

Everyone copes with things; differently; we all heal in our own time and different ways. Betrayal was something that I could barely combat. And lies were inevitable because everyone did it. But the intentional, hurtful lies are what destroy a person inside. When I love someone, I don't just love them with my heart. I love my mind, body, heart, and soul.

I gave Khalil my everything, and he promised not to hurt me like the other men from the past. We started dating when I was 22, and now I'm 23, going on 24. I couldn't believe that I had almost wasted two years on a man that just destroyed me. I knew that when I confronted him later, he'd deny it because he's the type of man that tells the hurtful lies that destroy a person.

A rough knock on my apartment door took me out of my blank trance and brought me back to reality.

"Courtney, please open up!"

My heart began to speed up, and I felt a sharp pang of hurt emerge from deep within my chest.

The knocking became more aggressive, and I couldn't help but feel panicked. How do I deal with this situation? Do I get angry, do I retaliate? Do I sit here and sulk? On an impulse, I stomped over to the door then abruptly opened it to be faced with Khalil Cameron.

Khalil's arm remained in the air like he was about to knock again like a feral animal. He took in my appearance then grimaced at my mess.

"Baby, what happened? You had me worried sick! You didn't return any of my calls or texts, and you look a mess."

I scoffed at his fake concern then leaned closer into the entrance of the door. I looked him straight in his light brown eyes and forced my lip into a snarl.

"Oh, you're concerned now? What about last night when you were all over that other woman. Were you concerned then?"

Khalil looked taken aback at what I said. He took a deep breath then tried to come closer to me, but I swiftly took a step back to dodge his approach.

"Baby, you're so insecure it's not even funny. You think that I was out there cheating on you when I already told you about me working extra hours at the firm. I wanted to surprise you so we could finally take the vacation of our dreams."

"Khalil, no one is being insecure here beside you. And in case you forgot, I work with the woman that you were unfaithful with." I screamed at him while waving my hands in his face like a maniac.

A dark glare crossed his face before he started to retreat into the hallway. He opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, but he just closed it in defeat. My mind was racing with possible explanations for his unexpected actions.

"Khalil. Did you cheat on me?" I asked softly while stepping closer to him. My eyes began to water again, and my hands were slightly shaking in fear of discovering the truth.