The Misunderstood Black Woman

Envious IV

Today I woke up feeling more energized. It was finally Thursday, and I decided to return to work with positivity. Yesterday I took another day to grieve and cry, but today I refused to let negativity consume my day. I did my morning routine differently today. I decided to stop controlling every aspect of my life and just let go and go with the flow.

I did things opposite today; I turned on some new music and let my playlists blare out as I got ready. I decided to straighten my hair for once and put some effort into painting my fingernails. While my nails were drying, I carefully slid on a plain black dress that went slightly above my knees. I always avoided wearing this dress because it hugged all of my curves in the right places, and Khalil hated wearing it in public. After my nails finished drying, I slid on a black pair of Calvin Klein heels and went into the bathroom to quickly brush my teeth.

I decided to eat breakfast in the break room when I got to work, so I had more time to get my stuff ready for the day. After drying off my mouth, I applied some dark red matte lipstick and light mascara. I looked down at my old watch and saw that I had exactly two minutes to make it to my bus stop.

After grabbing my purse and locking my apartment, I walked briskly to the bus, and I caught it right before it was about to leave. Instead of sitting next to a random stranger today, I decided to stand the entire trip and take in my surroundings. I never took the early bus since I was always rushing or late for everything, so this ride felt like a breath of fresh air.

As my stop approached, I started walking towards the exit to get off. Today I had to take advantage of my time and get my mind off of Khalil. Just thinking about him made my heart swell up, and it made my eyes slightly water. I choked back my tears, then took a deep breath so I wouldn't break down in front of everyone. As soon as the bus doors opened, I jumped off and briskly walked toward the office.

Once I arrived at the building, I saw three black Escalades parked in front of the building. I was trying to be nosy and watch who it was, but the owner had heavily tinted windows. Once inside, I pressed the number 5 and patiently waited for the elevator doors to close. I wonder if that man is going to interrupt my elevator ride again? I thought while peering out into the lobby while the doors slowly shut.

The break room was near Mr. Huggins's office, so instead of going back to my desk, I smiled at Miranda, who looked surprised to see me so early. I took a sharp left past her desk to go toward the break room. I typically didn't eat anything for breakfast, but I hadn't eaten for the past two days, and I was starving. I decided to restart my diet to lose the extra weight I gained from the pill since I wouldn't be taking them anymore.

I sat at the table towards the back with a nice clear view of the skyline. I had my back turned away from the people entering the break room so I could see outside. I made some scrambled eggs and a slice of plain toast, and I brought an orange. I was so into the meal that I tuned out the conversation behind me until I heard my name come up in a conversation.

"Girl, yes, he told me that he broke up with Courtney, and she keeps calling him nonstop, trying to get his attention."

"Wow, it sounds like Courtney is that desperate."

I was shocked that these women were gossiping about me at work. And this gossip wasn't even true, so I wondered what Khalil was saying about me to others. Trina and her friend probably didn't recognize me sitting here because I did my hair for once. I decided that I didn't want to make a scene at work, so instead, I would confront her at the end of the day. I sat in silence and held my breath to hear what else they were saying.

"He's taking me out for my birthday this weekend, and he said that there's a special surprise for me," Trina stated while shaking up something, but I didn't dare turn around.