Letters to Jaemin

Letters | 11

Letter #10

Dear Jaemin,

          Do you still remember when I asked you and Jeno to join me to go shopping since it's christmas and everything is on sale on malls.

        You gladly accepted my offer—or just so I thought... I know you're still a bit mad because of what happened the day before today. It was my fault tho, you won't be able to stay in the drama club because of me.

          I tried my best to atleast make you feel okay that day, I wanted to make you feel at ease but seems like what I'm doing isn't helping at all.

         I tried to asked you to watch a movie, eat in fastfood chains and even play in arcade but you're just declining all my offers.

         And in the end of the day when we're about to go home, I asked you if I can talk to you for a while. You just gave me a forced smile then we walked together.

         I started apologizing to you, I apologized for everything and even told you that it was all my fault so you don't have to make yourself suffer from something you never did.

         And to my surprise, you suddenly shouted at me. You told me that I shouldn't be apologizing because I did nothing wrong. You told me that not everything you do are only about me. You said you also have other things in your mind and you left the drama club because you wanted to, and not just because I started to self harm.

        You told me that I shouldn't be so sad about something that shouldn't be sad about.

        Then after that, you left me.

         You walked away and left me. But I'm not mad, you actually woke up my sleeping soul. You were right. Not everything you're doing has to do with me. Your world doesn't revolve around me, because I'm not your sun.

-Minji