Letters to Jaemin

Letter | 20

Letter #19

Dear Jaemin,

          I know for the past few weeks you've been wondering why I'm always absent for days—after what happened from the graduation ball, I found out something terrible about myself.

          I'm sorry if I kept on lying to you that I was doing fine and I'm just too lazy to attend daily classes back then. I'm so sorry for not telling so soon.

          Please read the whole letter before you do anything else—Jaemin... I just found out that I have some kind of heart complication. I, myself was also shocked to fact that my heart isn't functioning so well.

          The doctors said that my heart has a hole and it is growing so rapidly. They said that I might need to undergo a heart transplant operation but we can't find any donors at the moment.

           I'm sorry if I kept it a secret from you and Jeno. But I swear I was about to tell you but something came up.

          Do you remember the foundation day last month? You called me that day saying that I should go to school because you needed my help in writing your song lyrics that you were about to pass to the music club.

         I actually came, and it was also the time that I was going to tell you about my heart disease—but it seems like the timing was bad to meet you that day.

         On the sakura tree near the school fountain—yes, I saw the both of you.

          I saw how the two of you kissed and how happy you were to be with each other. Ofcourse, at first it was painful to accept but in the end of the day, I realized that there's nothing wrong from loving someone.

          Love has its own reason that even reason cannot understand. I should've known sooner.

          I'm sorry if I choose to leave than facing you—sorry If I'm too scared to tell you the truth, but I want you to know that I'll still love you. I'll adore you, no matter what.

-Minji