Letters to Jaemin

Letters | 13

Letter #12

Dear Jaemin,

          Hina's funeral was done before the new year's day. It was a short time to mourn for her family but they decided to let her go because they do not want to make it hard for them any further.

          It was her last day of funeral when I came. I was afraid to go but you asked me so I did. I was afraid to go near Hina's coffin and bow my head—because I still think that it was my fault.

         I saw how Hina's mother cried, she's so worn out and her eyes were red due to over crying.

         I swallowed all the fear inside of me and I approached her. I held her hand and told her that it was my fault. That I was the one who's next to her when she got into the accident. I told her that I should've just pulled Hina that time... then maybe, she's still alive.

          I thought her mother would slap me, I thought she's going to pull my hair and shout at me... but instead she hugged me.

          She told me that it wasn't my fault. That I was never at fault.

          My heart suddenly felt light, like all the heaviness in my heart suddenly vanished into thin air.

          And then I approached you.

         I thought you're mad at me. But you just hugged me too. I silently listened to your loud cries. My shoulder was wet because of your continuous tears but it doesn't bothered me.

          I tapped your back, slowly, as if I was putting a child to sleep. You were just crying the whole time, and when Hina was brought to her last destination... everyone cried.

          You never let go of my hand that day as if you're making sure that you won't be alone for the rest of the day.

          Hina may not be so good to me but I guess she still deserved to be an angel. To become an angel for her family, especially to her mother.

          I know how sad you were when she left... that is why I want you to know that there's nothing to be sad about anymore. Hina's finally happy.

         So you should be happy too.

-Minji