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"Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're going to love it!"
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Central Perk. The one place in New York where the coffee doesn't suck.
"There's nothing to tell." Monica blurted out. "It's just some guy I work with." One of the waitresses refilled my cup of coffee, making it my third.
"Come on. You're going out with the guy. There's got to be something wrong with him." My best friend Joey shrugged his shoulders. I leaned over and hit his arm for the comment.
"So, does he have a hump and a hairpiece?" My brother Chandler spoke up.
"Wait, does he eat chalk?" Phoebe asked her, receiving a weirded–out look from Monica. "Just 'cause I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl." She added.
"Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date." She flailed her arms around. "It's two people going out to dinner and not having sex." She explained.
"Sounds like a date to me." I leaned back against the sofa. "Except to sofa since his date is not going out to dinner and having sex." I added.
A couple hours later, all of us had switched positions. Chandler and Monica were on the sofa, Phoebe was on the ground, Joey was sitting in the recliner, and I sat on the arm of his chair.
"I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I'm totally...naked." My brother started to describe his dream vividly. I covered my ears like a child so I couldn't listen to him anymore.
"Did it ever occur to you that I don't want to hear about your weird dreams? Especially those that deal with you being naked." I whined, adding to my childish aesthetic.
Even with my hands over my ears, I could still hear him. "Then, I looked down, and I realize there is a phone...there." He humphed slightly.
"Instead of...?" Joey trailed off, none of us wanting to say the word.
"That's right." Chandler gave him a look to keep quiet. "All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. And it turns out it's my mother. Which is very weird because...she never calls me." He furrowed his brows and shook his head. We all made confused faces and ignored it.
Some of us switched positions again. Joey, Monica, and I stayed where we were, but Chandler moved to the small table across from us while Phoebe joined Monica on the couch. Then, Monica's very depressed brother Ross walked into the once joyous cafe.
"Hi." He glanced at us sadly before looking down at his umbrella. From the water on his face, specifically under his eyes, either he has a really bad umbrella, or he's been crying all day.
"This guy says 'Hello, I want to kill myself'." I gestured to Ross and glanced back at Joey.
"Are you okay, sweetie?" Monica wrapped her fingers around her brother's wrist comfortingly.
