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"You don't believe in evolution?"
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"Hey." We all greeted Chandler when he walked into the apartment. The rest of us were playing poker, and Rachel won again.
"So how was Joan?" Monica glanced back at him.
"Broke up with her." He replied, his hands in his pockets as he sat down on the chair behind me.
"Don't tell me. Because of the big–nostril thing?" Ross let out a sigh.
"They were huge." Was all my brother could say. "When she sneezed, bats flew out of them." He glanced at me and the girls.
"Oh, come on. They were not that huge." Rachel crossed her arms over her chest.
"I'm telling you. She leaned back, and I could see her brain." He tried to defend himself.
"How many perfectly fine women are you going to reject over the most superficial and–and insignificant things?" Monica asked him.
"Am I actually related to you? Because right now, I don't want to be even friends with you." I scoffed at his behavior.
"Joey, back me up." Chandler nodded his head at his roommate.
"I've got to side with the girls on this one. So what if she's got big nostrils? If you truly like, or even love, a woman, none of those flaws should bother you. Especially when she doesn't have any." He discreetly winked at me, and the other girls awed at his words. The next morning, I was making myself some mac and cheese at Monica's place.
"So, you name one woman that you broke up with for an actual reason." Phoebe sat down at the dining table with Chandler, Monica, and Ross. Rachel was leaning against the couch while Joey was standing next to me, adding some seasoning to my food.
"Maureen Rosillo." He replied, making me roll my eyes.
"Just because she doesn't hate Yanni doesn't make it a good reason." I called out to him. Then, someone knocked on the door, so Monica got it.
"Hello, Mr. Heckles." We all glanced over in the general direction of our downstairs neighbor.
"You're doing it again." He muttered.
"We're not doing anything." Rachel joined Monica's side since they're roommates.
"You're stomping. It's disturbing my birds." He replied.
"You don't have birds." Rachel squinted her eyes at the elder man. Joey took this opportunity to smack my ass gently.
"Not right now, Joey." I covered my mouth to stop the giggles while he smirked at me.
"But I want to cuddle with you and watch movies. I'll make you some actual food in your apartment." His hot breath blew into my ear. The only reason we could be this close was because the others were too busy paying attention to Mr. Heckles.
