Circus (Harry Styles)

Chapter 17.

The lights dim and the boy I am completely taken by walks away from me and into the middle of the ring.  As he stands there in the dark waiting for the lights, I admire his physique, his hair, his everything.  He somehow glows in the dark.  He is beautiful.  I know it’s not normal to call a male beautiful, but that is what he is.

There is something about this circus; there is something about these people.  They are breathtaking, gorgeous, and incredibly talented.  They are perfect human beings.  A group of people from a whole other world has arrived in my small country town, and I am completely and utterly besotted by them.  

When I am not here in this big top, my mind still is.  When I am at home, watching America’s Next Top Model with Mom, my heart is with Harry.  When I am lying in my room late at night, my head is with the beautiful animals, with baby Belle.  I am completely and wholly taken by these strangers of my town and I know deep down that there is no escaping this obsession anymore.  Why though?  What is it about these people that I cannot help but be drawn to? 

The lights flash onto the beautiful boy standing in the middle of the ring.  His voice beams at the hundreds of people in the audience and I get a shiver.  The whole of Rosalind is staring at this ringleader with open mouths, they all see the perfection that I see.  It’s hard not to.  He charmingly makes a few jokes and riles the audience up.  Within moments, everyone is screaming and cheering, but I am sitting back in my seat, unable to take my eyes off of him. 

As the music comes on, Harry begins to dance.  His dancing is seductive, sexy.  He moves his body in a way I have never seen; my breathing becomes shallow as I search his body up and down as he touches himself and moves his hands down his torso and onto his belt buckles.  The women in the audience are whistling and all I can think about is that he kissed me.  He kissed me, Aribella.  The excitement of the women in this big top as they watch Harry just turns me on all the more, the fact that I’m the one who has been shoved against the tarp by him, not them.

“Put your hands together, Rosalind, for Niall, the most mind blowing juggler you will EVER come across again in your life” he says as he shoves his hands in the air and gestures towards a slit in the big top.  In walks Niall, and everyone cheers. 

As Niall moves to the centre of the ring, Harry lingers off to the side and into the dark where the audience cannot see him while he waits. 

The circus music roars and Niall flashes us his genuine, heartwarming smile before he takes some battons and begins to juggle them effortlessly.  He makes it seem so easy, I wish I had a talent like that.  After juggling several battons, his female assistant – who I do not recognize – picks up some more battons and lights the ends on fire.  The audience gasps as he begins to throw the sticks of fire above his head, managing to catch them on the unlit side every time.  6 different battons are being thrown into the air, an illusion of a ring of fire is appearing around Niall’s head as the battons circle as fast as I would think humanly possible. 

As the audience cheers the juggler on, I look to my right to see Harry leaning against the side of the grand stand.  His hair is swept over his forehead, holy shit he is so sexy.  He looks up at me with a smouldering facial expression and I look away, I cannot handle it nor resist myself.  All I want is for him to have his way with me again, do whatever he wants to me.

 “PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER” his voice yells as he returns to the ring and dances along to the next, more current and popular song that is beaming over the radio.  As he dances, the audience begins to clap to the beat of the song.  Harry takes his shirt of and returns to touch his torso with a cheeky smile painted over his face.  He is staring at a group of middle aged women on the opposite side of the ring to me who are going absolutely crazy over his strip tease. 

Maybe I should feel jealous, but all I can think about is how he kissed me.  My thoughts really are like a broken record, they’re stuck on the kiss.   I can’t stop replaying it in my mind.  The strength of his hands as they grabbed onto my wrists and threw them up against the tarp above my head.  The way it sort of hurt my wrists, and the way I sort of liked the light pain.  I just want more of him, of these people, of this circus.

After another hour of breath taking acts and performances, the lights come back on and the audience begins to file out of the big top and into the darkness of this week night. 

As promised, Harry quickly returns to me.
“What did you think?” he looks down at me and smiles.
“It was amazing” I nod and smile.  Damn it, I feel like a pathetic groupie.

Harry continues to smile at me and turns his head to the back of the circus, insinuating I follow.

We walk through the curtain and to the backstage area again.  I am very wary of the stares I am now receiving from all of the performers here in the back.   I begin to feel self conscious, my posture is starting to slouch as I feel the unwelcomed vibes being thrown at me.

Before I know it, we are back outside.  I brace myself for another kiss to realize we are not standing in the secluded side section of the big top anymore, but rather in the backyard where all of the performers are returning to their tents to rest for the night.  I see the kitchen tent is busy cooking up a storm while some other men are setting their bar up. 

“Have a few drinks with me” he looks at me as we walk towards the bar. 

“Harry, I really need to get home” I start,
“I demand you have a few drinks with me” he insists, and just like that I surrender to this spellbinding man.
"You can't just order me around like I'm your property" I huff, even though I sort of like it.
"If you arent enjoying it, you wouldn't do as I say" he smiles a half smile at me and winks, "you're a free woman, Aribella" 
"How do you know my real name" I demand, yet it isn't quite as affective as when he does it.
He ignores me and proceeds to pour himself a beer.

"Hannah?" I say as I turn to see Hannah walking towards me in their backyard, "what are you doing here?"

"You're not the only one who gets an invite to their afterparty, circus girl" she smiles and joins me at the bar tent.
"Two vodkas for us Rosalind ladies, double shot please" she says to one of the men behind the bar.