Circus (Harry Styles)

Chapter 32.

I take a few more steps towards my parents and breathe in.  Breathe out.  Keep calm, Belle.

"Tell me what?" I stare at my father who is looking at me with tears in his eyes. "Mom?"
My mom looks at me, opens her mouth and begins to cry.

"You're scaring me, Mom.  Dad?  Tell me. You have to tell me!" I raise my voice. 
"Belle" my father begins, "you just need to understand, before we tell you anything, that we love you.  Your happiness was always the one thing we have ever worked towards."
He walks towards me with his arms open to hug me.  I pull away and take a step back to see his face.  Tears are streaming down my father's left cheek. 

I've never seen my father cry.  The sheriff of Rosalind - sobbing? It makes me want to cry.  I feel a gulp in my throat as I look up at my Dad crying.  Whatever this is, it must be bad.  He takes his hat off and runs his hand through his hair, resting his head for a moment.

"The Majesty Circus" my dad begins, "the fourth generation..."
"Yeah?" I respond, inpatiently.  Harry's Dad.. I think.

"10 years ago, the Circus came to town.  We went to their show on the Friday night" my dad continues, "I remember the night like it was yesterday."
"The show was incredible" my Mom nods with a smile, "the lions were beautiful, the acts were so graceful.  Everyone was so intriguing.  The music, the charming circus music."

I think about how shes describing the circus and nod to myself, that's how I see the circus, too.

"But there was something wrong" my dad butts in, "we had a bad feeling."
"Both of us" Mom adds, "we could feel something was wrong in the runnings of this circus."
"Behind the smiles of the children, we could see tearful eyes.  Behind the clowns silly dances and acts, we could see heartbreak."
"Something was just, not right" Mom says.
"We were uncomfortable" Dad looks at me to study my face intensely.  I try to keep a calm expression but my breathing is beginning to shallow.  "We could see that the performers were unhappy and weren't sure how to respond."

"Where was I in this?" I ask, "Was I in the audience with you?"
Mom and Dad look at each other and continue the story, as if I didn't ask them.

"We ended up coming home that night feeling rather unsatisfied."
"Don't get us wrong, though, the show was amazing. THe acts were gorgeous.  It was truely a magnificant show.  But we just knew the performers weren't happy."

I think about what Zayn has told me in the past, about Harry's father, and how violent and cruel he was to both the animals and the performers.  Zayn's descriptions of images of performers being thrown out of the trains rushes through my head.  This all makes sense, I guess.  Perhaps my parents' gut feelings were right.

"Your father, being the man who wants to help everyone, decided to go for a little wander down the road later that night."
"I just wanted to see how the performers were being treated.  I cannot stand cruely of any sorts, and couldn't bare the thought of something awful happening just metres down the road from us."

"What did you see, Dad?"
"Violence between performers.  Sex in every other tent.  The ringleader was just awful, too.  I could hear lions yelping and could see various artists laying on the grounds, wounds.  I recognised a few of them to be ones who had made mistakes in the show that night.  We had a bad feeling, I knew this already.  But I didn't realise just how bad this Circus was run."
"Wow" I say, shocked.  Poor Harry.  No wonder the artists are scared of him.  His father was absolutely awful.

"A week later, we were given tickets to see the show again." Mom says, "we did not want to support such an awful organisation, but we needed to make an appearance as the tickets were given to us from the community as a thank you for running the Saturday Markets."
"Right... so you went again?"
"Reluctantly, yes" Dad nods his head. 

"We returned, and took our seats in the grand stand" Mom looks at me, also trying to study my face.
"We winced and looked away as artists made the slightest mistakes.  We now knew what was in store for them after the show and we couldn't bare to think about it.
"What's worse, is that we couldn't do anything to help them" my Dad says, another tear falling down his face.  His sheer passion and empathy for the artists makes my heart melt.

I begin to feel really guilty about sneaking out and ignoring my Dad for the past few weeks.  He is such a kind man and all he wants is for everyone to be happy and safe.  I have been so selfish, thinking he has been out to make my life hell.  Quite the contrary, Belle, I think to myself.  He just wants me safe.

"We held each others hands through the show, counting down the minutes to where we could leave" Mom says, holding onto my father's hand.
"It was the final minutes of the show, and the trapeze act was beginning."
"And there she was."
"Who?" I ask.
"A beautiful, little girl, standing by herself at the top plank, above our heads."
"She was tiny" Mom smiles, "so innocent and pure.  She stood above us and stared down at the audience with the most beautiful smile."
"We fell in love with her, instantly" Dad says, also smiling as he grabs onto my Mum's hand tighter.
"As soon as she stepped off the plank and flew into the air, we were mesmerized.  She was everything and more.  She was perfection.   A beautiful, innocent child caught in the awful circus that was the Majesty Circus."

"We went home that night, unable to get her off of our minds."
"After an hour of tossing it up, we made a decision."
"We weren't proud of it, we knew it was wrong."

"What did you do?" I ask, confused.  Did they do something to Harry's Dad?  What did they do to the little girl?  I think about the trapeze artists at the circus curently.  I don't remember any female ones, only males.  I don't think I know her, maybe she left, got out of it.

Mom's tears begin to fall down her cheeks again.
"What did you do?" I ask.
"It was such a hard time for us" my father says, "we had been battling with troubles to concieve for years. We had a hole in our lives and we couldn't fulfil it."
"We didn't want to hurt anyone" my Mom wails.
"We had to save her" my father says, "she was in a dangerous environment and after what I had seen in the circus backyard... we were sick to our stomach".
"The things they were capable of..."

"Mom?" I look at my kind, caring, nurturing mother who is crying infront of me.
"Dad?" I look at my father who is also now crying.

"What did you do?"