Circus (Harry Styles)

Chapter 25.

Hey all :) I've uploaded the first round of questions (and my answers) into my Q&A book.  I've made a little promise.... If I get enough questions thrown at me to make seven whole sets of Q&A's.... I will answer the seventh set in a video!!!! Which I wasn't planning on doing for a while, but you're all so lovely and I thought, if you want to see what I look like I might just show you earlier than later :)
So hop onto my other book after this and get asking!! 

Unedited as always lol...

I rip the tent door open of Harry’s room and storm in.

“What the hell was that?” I scream at Harry who is sitting calmly on his bed looking smug as ever.
“What was what?” he says with a half smile.
“Don’t you even try to pretend you don’t know” I say as I walk towards the boy and shove him as hard as I can in his chest. 
“Calm down, Belle” he raises his voice back at me.
“NO!  Explain yourself” I say, “why did you do that to me?”
“What does it matter to you?” Harry says as his eyes glare at me, I don’t think I’ve seen him blink this whole conversation.
“What does it matter to me?” I begin before scoffing and shaking my head.  I am pacing around his tent like his lion, Keko.  I am livid and can’t quite get my head around what Harry is doing.
“Do you want her?” I say with a slightly lower, quieter voice.  I hold my breath as I wait for his answer which has the potential to absolutely break me.
“It’s not like it affects you either way” Harry says, his facial expression stern and harsh. 

I don’t know whether it’s Harry’s utter ignorance, or the images of him kissing that girl that are spinning through my head, but before I know it my hand makes contact with his cheek as I give him the hardest slap I’ve ever dished out.   I instantly step back, shocked at what I’ve just done.  

Harry’s hair has fallen over his eyes and he is looking to the ground.  No reaction, he is just shutting off from me.  I contemplate apologizing but I hold back when I remember that image again.

“Tell me why you did that” I repeat, much quieter than the first time.   Tears are beginning to stream down my face.  "You can't just treat people like that, Harry.  I would never do that to you, ever.  You can't just get angry and react like that.  Do you have any idea how much that hurt me?"

Harry slowly lifts his head up at me and notices the pain in my eyes.  
“You don’t understand how much you mean to me, Belle” he says and I instantly roll my eyes.  I call bullshit.
“Yeah, I really felt that when you shoved your tongue in another girls mouth” I snap.

Harry is continuing to look at me, with a slightly softer expression now. 

“Belle” he begins, “I have missed you since the morning you left my tent.  I have spent every single day thinking about you.  Every single show, I have come out to the front and scanned the audience looking for your face.  Every single time I've realised you're not there for me, a part of my heart has broken.  It stings Belle, don't you realise that?  I have been falling apart.  Without seeing your face the past few days, I have been miserable at best” he says, and I notice his eyes are beginning to look much shinier.  I think he’s tearing up himself which makes me sob more.  “You have consumed me ever since I made you leave.  I have been waiting for you to come back to me, hoping with all of my might that I would see your  face in the crowd.” More tears begin to stream down his right cheek, "I'm falling apart without you Belle, and I can't save myself."

I don't know what to say, I am too overwhelmed.  I filddle with my hoodie sleeves and look up at him, trying my best to hold it together.  This was not the conversation I expected to come from this.  I didn't know he even cared about me this much. 

“When I saw you tonight… with him” his voice breaks, “it shattered me, Aribella” he says.

“Harry…” I begin but he interrupts me.
“It’s okay, Belle” he says, “I believe he is your friend now.  But before... something took over me and I just wanted you to feel a glimpse of what I was feeling” he says and looks at me.  Harry walks towards me and puts his hands on my shoulders.
“I am sorry, Aribella” he says as a single tear falls down his perfect, soft cheek.  I wipe it away with a finger as he looks at me with his beautiful hazel green eyes.  
"Travelling all the time, I think I miss out on some of the simple social rules.  I am not always the best with people skills, I never have been" his face looks sad, ashamed.  I want to hug him and tell him it's alright but I'm not sure if it is just yet.

“I feel things when I’m with you that I have never, ever felt before” his smooth accent glides over the words and I know exactly how he feels.  “I find myself doing things out of character when it comes to you.  Sometimes they’re not for the best, I can admit that right now.  But nevertheless I love the way you make me feel, and I love the way I am when I am with you. Eratic behaviour and all.”

His forehead is resting on mine and I can't help but cry.  He is explaining his feelings the exact same way I would explain mine to be when I am with him.

“I’m completely and utterly addicted to you, Aribella” he whispers.  I wipe my tears away and look up at him.   He kisses me lightly on the cheeks, but it’s not like the kisses I’ve had from him before.  It’s different.  This is all, completely different.  I am overwhelmed with emotions but this moment is perfect, his kiss was exactly what my lips were longing for.  The touch of his hands on my shoulders are warm and comfortable, I feel at home.

“I’m so sorry, Aribella” he continues, “I was simply devastated at the thought of losing the one girl I’ve ever truly wanted”.

This is not a Harry I have seen before.  Where is the hair pulling?  The seducing?  Hell, even the teasing or rudeness?  Something seems to be changing in him and I can’t help but want to forgive him.

He places his hands on either side of my face and looks into my eyes, “Do you forgive me, Aribella?” he asks.

I think long and hard before I answer.   He hurt me, yes, but after his explanation I don’t know what to think. 

“I think you got what you deserved” I smile as I touch his pink cheek that I just dug into.  He winces as I touch it but smiles.  He takes another step towards me and wraps his arms around me for a hug.
"But you can't just do something so awful everytime you feel hurt" I say and he nods and kisses me on the head.

“I will never do that to you again” he whispers and with that, I feel better.  

“Are you guys joining us, or what?” Zayn peaks his head into Harry's marquee tent, “it’s drinking game night!”
Harry looks down at me, “do you want to?” he says.

After this awful afternoon, and quite frankly, awful last few days, I could do with a little more alcohol than I’m used to.    I nod and take Harry’s hand as he leads me out of the tent, picks up a couple bottles of alcohol and joins a circle outside full of entertainers.

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