AGAIN: Peter Parker x Reader

t w e n t y o n e

hello my angels! i'm finally writing again and i'm home! unfortunately i do have to stay in the hospital for another month soon for treatment so... but i love u all ty for sticking round!

warnings: you FINALLY start expressing suppressed feelings and make realisations!!!, some angst, some fluff and romantic comments ig?? A LOT of thinking and reflecting on repetitive feelings, dw...it'll all make sense soon.

words: 1389

Your POV-Friday morning, school

Friday arrived quicker than I thought, and i was craving the weekend. I have only been leaving my apartment to go to school, even though it is such a chore. I'd spent the week crying over Peter Parker every night. He meant so much to me and everything is ruined now. I just want him back, but I'm too scared to face him. And not only have I spent the week crying over him, but avoiding him.

As for Dylan and Cass, fuck them. The first two days I was sad but mostly angry. I realised all this time Dylan was a shitty boyfriend, now ex and Cass was an even shittier friend, now also ex. Now I'm over it and over them. They mean nothing to me anymore, they don't deserve me now and frankly, never did. (woo! go y/n that's a power move!)

All I can think about is Peter and the words he said to me, "Earlier you asked me what I dreamt about. I dream about you. Every night you're on my mind before I fall asleep, it's always you. Because I am...I- I am in love with you" I have thought about those words 24/7 since he said them. At first I was shocked and startled and scared but now that I don't give two shits about Dylan anymore, I realised how much these words really meant. They were poetic and honestly romantic. Hell, Peter and I aren't even a couple and my own boyfriend at the time never said anything even close to as romantic as that.

After constantly replaying the scene of us out in the rain, him confessing his love to me, it made me think how much Peter and I meant to each other. I mean, obviously I meant a lot to him or he wouldn't have said that, right? And he means a lot to me. We have quite a history and great memories, and boy do I miss him. It hasn't even been a week since the confession and the after-coming silence between us and I just want him back. (feel like pure shit just want her back😔 lmao sorry did anyone get that?)

Peter. Peter. Peter. His name replayed in him head, his curly hair dropping over his forehead. Images of our memories playing in my brain like a movie I'll never forget. I won't forget him. That's for sure.

chemistry

I sat in the back of chemistry awaiting to see Peter. I doubt we would converse or if he would even look at me but again, I missed him so, so much. I missed falling asleep on the couch with him, sitting on the fire escape together. Fire escape. Where we had our first kiss very young. I remember every moment of it. Quick and confusing, but oh so lovely. There I was playing the memories again. I can't get him out of my head. Yet I feel so numb with out him.

Minutes later, Peter walked into the classroom. There he was, walking with his head slightly down, his blue midtown sweatshirt hanging loosely on him, and his brown curls sitting on his forehead flawlessly. He made his way to his seat and we made eye contact for a mere two seconds. But I felt something, something so new explode in me when I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine finally after what seemed like a century.

Butterflies. It was butterflies and there was no denying that I just felt butterflies explode in my stomach for Peter Parker. My heart felt like it was going to melt in that moment. For him.

Was I moving on too quick? It hasn't even been a week. It's probably just those 'i miss you' butterflies, right?

No, it's not. My feelings were telling me the truth and I am going to finally stop pushing them away. Maybe I had always had feelings for Peter Parker but they were just buried so deep down until I lost him again. You really don't know what you got till it's gone.

Not maybe. I do. I do have feelings for Peter Parker. I did keep them buried away. It was that kiss on the fire escape many years ago. It was him, always him. Right in front of me and I lost him. He wouldn't want me back. Maybe if I can just talk to him-

I was interrupted by the ding of my phone which was a text from my mom.

Good news! The doctors are hoping to release dad from his coma this weekend!

I smiled so big. I was happy reading this to finally talk to my dad again. Maybe things were starting to fall in place with time: my dad's health...and my feelings.

Peter's POV

She's smiling. What's she smiling about that's on her phone? Did she move on already and forget about me or go back to Dylan? God, I wish I knew and wish I had her back.

I watched y/n from two seats to her right looking down and smiling at her phone. And my heart ached at the thought she forgot all about me and moved on. I loved her.

No, I love her. I still love her, even if she doesn't love me. I will always love her no matter what happens. I might need to move on eventually and accept she doesn't feel the same but I will still have love for her. And miss her.

I don't know, maybe I need to get my mind off her. There was a school trip or athletic event coming up soon maybe I could look forward to one of those? Also I am spider-man, I mean that's interesting, but it doesn't help when I have the urge to swing by y/n's apartment every time I put the suit on. What I would do to just sit with her on that fire escape again.

The fire escape. Where we kissed. I remembered that kiss. I closed my eyes and put my head on the desk and day dreamed about that night many years ago.

Next thing I knew, the class was over. It wasn't the first time I fell asleep in chemistry or the first time I dreamed about y/n.

Wow I cant believe I told her I dreamt about her. Well she did ask...Not the point Peter! Man, I've got it bad. I feel so...bleh...without her. My best friend, my love, the girl I want to spend my life with. I just gotta get through this day, then I have to talk to her.

——————

When the final bell rang that Friday afternoon, I never ran out of school so fast in my life. I wanted to get some patrolling done before I talked to y/n tonight. More-so I needed extra time while on patrol to think up my plan of how I'm going to talk to y/n.

After awhile of procrastination, messing around, I swung by some shops. Flowers? No, kinda tacky.

Chocolate? It might melt.

I gave up after flowers and chocolate. I shouldn't use a gift, I should use my words. That's smooth right? Yeah, yeah.

Then I heard rumbling in the street. I thought it was just cars like usual but I turned around to see some idiot trying to pick up a sewer grate. What the hell.

"Hey, man what do you think you're doing?" I yelled.

He just ignored me and kept pulling at it.

"If you're looking for the ninja turtles sewer entrance, I can assure you, this ain't it," I said.

"Yeah whatever Spider-tights," he mumbled.

"It's spider-man, it's not that hard to remember geez," I sighed and swung off to you know where.

The place I think about swinging round when ever possible. The person always on my mind. Y/n.

It was now or never.